Four ladies finish their entrees. After the busgirls clear and crumb the table I bring over the dessert menus.

It’s time for me to become the devil.

“Ladies,” I say sweetly, “We have some excellent desserts tonight.”

“Oh, nothing for me,” Bubbly Blonde replies.

“No dessert,” Severe Brunette says, holding up her hand.

“Me neither,” Lawyer Babe says firmly.

The fourth woman, a Soccer Mom type, looks at her companions and sighs. She wants dessert.

“If no one’s having anything I guess I’ll take a pass,” she says.

I see the longing for chocolate in Soccer Mom’s eyes. She’s my weak link. My in.

“Would anyone like some coffee?” I ask. Suggesting coffee is the first stage in selling dessert to calorie resistant ladies.

“I’ll have a regular coffee with skim milk,” Severe Brunette says.

“Me too,” Bubbly Blonde says.

Soccer Mom’s still staring at the dessert menu in my hand.

“I make an excellent cappuccino,” I say, “Would you like to try one?”

“That sounds great,” Soccer Mom says.

“So you’ll have one?”


“You got it.”

Lawyer Babe refuses anything. But she looks like a daily workout nuts and twigs kind of gal.

“I’ll leave the dessert menus here in case you change your minds,” I say.

“Thank you,” Soccer Mom says, opening it up. Come to daddy darling. Come to daddy.

I go to the back and pour two coffees. Then I make a gorgeous multi layered cappuccino in a tall clear glass that makes the regular coffee look absolutely pedestrian. But then again, that’s part of my evil plan.

“Oh that cappuccino looks good,” Bubbly Blonde sighs. Severe Brunette’s eyes glass over.

“If you’d like I’ll take the coffees back and make you one,” I offer.

“Oh that’s too much trouble,” Bubbly says.

“Not a problem Madam.”

“Ok I’ll have one,” Bubbly says.

“Me too,” Severe Brunette chirps.

“And you Madam?” I ask Lawyer Babe.

“I’m fine thank you.”

Ah, Lawyer’s going to be the tough one. Well, the harder the seduction the greater the pleasure.

I return with the cappuccinos. Soccer Mom and Bubbly are perusing the dessert menu.

“Anything ladies?” I ask.

“No,” Bubbly sighs, “We’re good.”

“I’ll come back in a few minutes,” I say.

I go to another one of my tables. They order a load of desserts – chocolate soufflé, berries with dollops of fresh whipped cream, tiramisu, and a fresh baked apple tort with vanilla gelato. As I deliver the desserts I notice Lawyer Babe’s eyes are tracking the plates in my hand like an Aegis radar.

“Can I get you ladies anything else?” I say, returning to their table.

“That tiramisu looked really good,” Soccer Mom says.

“It is good,” I reply. “Goes really well with cappuccino.”

Lawyer Babe fixes me with a hard stare. “You’re the devil. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Every woman I’ve ever known Madam,” I reply.

Lawyer Babe laughs.

“I’ll bet that’s true.”

“We’ll share the tiramisu,” Soccer Mom says.

“But I want the apple pie,” Severe Brunette protests.

“Get both,” Bubbly says breathily.

“Ok, we’ll get both,” Soccer Mom says.

“Bring four forks,” Bubbly adds.

I turn to Lawyer Babe. I notice her pupils are dilated. She’s all mine.

“Anything madam?” I ask her.

“Goddammit,” she says, “Bring me the soufflé.”

I win.

“A good choice madam,” I say.

“Hurry before I change my mind.”

I go to the back and return with their desserts. I’m happy. I’ve just added $33 to their check.

The ladies eat their desserts with astonishing rapidity. I bring the bill. The ladies look sated and slightly guilty.

“I can’t believe I ate that,” Lawyer Babe says, “That’s an extra hour of cardio right there.” I notice she’s got some chocolate sauce on the corner of her mouth. Very cute.

“Worth every calorie madam.” I say.

“You are the devil.” Lawyer snorts.

“That’s my job madam,” I reply.

The ladies pay the bill, tip well, and leave. As I watch them go I think about how I got them to order dessert. To be a good salesman you have to have a seductive quality about you. Don’t believe me? Look at pharmaceutical reps.

But seduction, to me, isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

And that doesn’t just apply to dessert.

Buon Appetito.

17 thoughts on “Seduction”

  1. Jonathan says:

    Hi, I just wanted to say I started reading your blog and I can’t stop, your writing drew me in and this story definitely parallels that, thank you for writing out such deep thoughts so articulately

  2. Jonathan says:

    haha forgot to say I will definitely be getting your book

  3. barb says:

    Wow, you know women….

  4. kungfu training supplies says:

    Always good to read about Soccer, my ex was of olympic standards.. really good!

    Can I ask though – how did you get this picked up and into google news?

    Very impressive, is it something that is just up to Google or you actively created?

    Obviously this is a popular blog with great data so well done on your seo success..

    Did you catch the latest game on this?

  5. mycheesesteak says:

    You are the devil. At least a little.

  6. Christian says:

    you are a damn good storyteller!

  7. Konya says:

    Thansk you baby :p

  8. Aneres says:

    you are a true playa!

  9. Kris says:

    “Severe Brunette’s eyes glass over.”

    Lmao you crack me up with your observations.

    Waiters are the devil. I’ve had ones offer to place them in ‘to-go’ containers for when I’m absolutely stuffed but have been eyeing that lava cake since before ordering drinks.

    But hell is empty for devils such as yourself so may you all be serving us desert in Heaven. 🙂

  10. Alex Jen says:

    God, I love upselling. Especially desserts!

  11. 5stars says:

    Interesting infos, and here is one text about how to win up to 90% with Soccer Betting Software >>

  12. KD says:

    Your nicknames for people crack me up. “Severe brunette,” “bubbly Blond,” LOL!

  13. Red says:

    I have recently been directed to your blog and am reading through the archives. Loving it, you have good observations of people and a nice way with words.
    I can say with all honesty that I am addicted. Oh, and it wouldn’t take all that long to seduce me into ordering tiramisu 🙂

  14. leithold says:

    awesome technique my man. perfect seduction. subtle, but slowly overpowering.

  15. Anonymous (The Restaurant Vigilantes are after me) says:

    Good technique as stated. I’ve never thought of leaving the menus, guess I’m stupid. However, most of the time the seduction is by mere-fact that one table will order the best looking dessert in the place, and in shock-and-awe mode this warrants attention. I’d say the fact that the other table wanted dessert is what got you the %33, because chances are even with the menus left behind as a trojan-horse type tactic, 9 times out of 10 you were gonna be picking up those menus to no avail.

  16. WaitressSaint says:

    I LOVE walking by one of my tables that are finishing their entrees with an armfull of desserts for another table. You can almost always count on a woman to longingly stare you down as you pass by. That’s a clencher!

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