There Will Always Be Horses

After my wife got her second dose of the Pfizer vaccine on Saturday, she told me, “I’m starting to feel like shit. You’ll have to take Natalie horseback riding tomorrow.”  “No problem,” I said. “Have you ever ridden a horse?”  I had to think about that for a...

Deserve’s Got Nothing to Do With It.

I was eating at a local diner when a man, a busybody if there ever was one, decided to plop down next to me and start asking questions about the food pantry I run. After explaining how every bit of food and money we give away is donated by generous townsfolk, he...

Slow Down

“Steve,” my boss said over the telephone, “Can you come down to my office for a minute?”  “Sure thing,” I said, wondering what was up. My boss is a “hands off” type of supervisor. As long as I get my job done, he stays out of my hair – a blessing after years of...

Take Your Hands Away From Your Eyes

“Daddy,” my daughter said. “Is magic real?”  “You mean like when a magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat?” “Yes.”  “That’s not magic,” I said, “That’s an illusion.”  “What’s an illusion?”  “Remember how I made that coin...

Ex Nihilo

A little while ago, a friend of mine said, “You know what death is like?”  “Not having died,” I said. “No.”  “Nothing.”  “Come again?’  “It’ll just be one big nothing,” he said. “Do you remember what you were like before you were born?” ...

Stealing Fire

I was huffing and puffing on the Stairmaster at the gym a few weeks ago when I noticed a woman staring at me. In her early forties, she was fit, pretty, and wearing a tight workout garment that accentuated her shapely physique.  Since I don’t suffer from the...

You Have All The Time In The World

“There’s someone her to see you,” one of my volunteers, said.  “Who?” I said, not looking up from my paperwork. “A couple with two kids. They said they need to talk to you.” Even though Christmas is just under two months away, the food pantry I run is already...

The Wolf, The Lamb, & The Cigar

I driving to meet a friend at the cigar shop when my stomach started grumbling. Which was odd since I had only eaten dinner an hour before – a healthy meal of baked chicken, brown rice and a gigantic salad. But since I had done an hour of fairly intense cardio after...

A Walk Among The Tombstones.

Yesterday I went looking for a homeless person who probably wasn’t going to accept any help.  “Have you seen this person?” I asked two DPW workers doing landscaping in a nearby park.  “Try the supermarket,” one of them told me. “Might be there. Walks around...

The Body Electric

“Excuse me,” I said to the lithe twenty-something after she uncoiled out of her improbable yoga pose.  “Yes?” the girl said, her creep detection radar blasting enough wattage to boil my blood away.  “Are you using this box for your workout?”  “Oh,...