Another Sparrow

“Do you hear that?” Melinda, our hostess asks me. “Hear what?” I reply tiredly. Its Sunday brunch and I’m exhausted from the night before. “There’s a bird in the restaurant!” “You’re kidding me.” “No, listen.” I strain my ears. Over the din of our busy restaurant I...

SNAP

“A man cannot break his penis,” Kylie, my twenty two year old waitress, exclaims. “Sure he can,” I reply. Don’t ask me how we got on this subject because I forgot. Waitstaff conversations are free associative exercises that usually culminate in sex talk one way or the...

Naked City

I’m standing outside the Bistro, enjoying the cool of the early evening breeze, when a beautiful woman clad only in a towel walks past me. “Good evening,” I say nonchalantly, as if nearly naked women pass my restaurant everyday. “Good evening,” the woman replies with...

Cocktail

It’s Saturday night and the Bistro’s jamming. I’m heading to the men’s room when Beth, a fellow waiter, intercepts me. “I need help,” she squeaks, “I’m going into the weeds.” “Whatcha need?” I offer gallantly. My piss can wait a minute. “Do you know how to make a...

Dog Park II

I’m at the dog park watching Buster, my joint custody pooch, sniff some Pekinese ass. “That your dog?” a big burly guy asks, pointing to Buster. “Yeah,” I reply, “The Pekinese yours?” “Yeah,” the big guy says smiling, walking towards me, “They seem to get along.”...