by waiter | Mar 27, 2023 | Uncategorized
“Daddy,” Natalie said from the back of the car – which seems to be the place all our deep conversations start – “How do you make a baby?” “How do you think it gets there?” I countered. So much for a quiet ride home. “Kissing? Through your...
by waiter | Mar 21, 2023 | Uncategorized
A couple of months back, one of my co-workers stuck her head into my office and said, “There’s a guy downstairs wearing a skull mask walking around videotaping people.” “What?” I replied. “He’s scaring the shit out of everyone.” “Aren’t the police...
by waiter | Mar 19, 2023 | Uncategorized
“Daddy,” my daughter said, from the backseat of the car. “Something’s bothering me.” “What is it, honey?” “The lady at church said most people go to – can I say a bad word?” “Go ahead.” “H-E-L-L.” “She said most people are going to...
by waiter | Feb 27, 2023 | Uncategorized
It was Mother’s Day and my wife had just finished her celebratory breakfast when our neighbor knocked on our door. “Sorry to bother you,” he said, studiously oblivious to the fact I was in my bathrobe, “But there’s a big raccoon in your yard.” “That’s...
by waiter | Feb 15, 2023 | Uncategorized
“That’ll be two hundred and thirty- five dollars, please,” the clerk said to the man ahead of me. “You take Amex?” he asked. “Yes, sir.” Then, after computers ascertained the man’s credit worthiness, the clerk handed him a bag filled with enough...
by waiter | Feb 12, 2023 | Uncategorized
“The parking lot is packed,” my wife, said. “It doesn’t look good.” “I’ll go inside and see,” I said. “You never know.” “I’ll wait out here.” Upon entering the restaurant, I went up to the hostess, “I know it’s a longshot. But do...
