Cutting In Line

If you’ve read my blog you know I hate customers who call at 7 on Saturday night and demand the best table in the house to be readied for them by 8. Not only are these people suffering from delusions of grandeur, they forget the simple economy of restaurants....

Thank You!

I would like to thank everyone who nominated Waiter Rant for consideration in the 2007 Bloggie Awards. I was selected as one of five finalists for Best Writing of a Weblog. I would like to extend my congratulations to the other four finalists and to every other blog...

Our Lady of Fifth Avenue

I have a morning meeting with my publisher. I don’t want to be late so I leave home early. I shouldn’t have worried. Every subway I need to get over to East 53rd Street pulls up to the platform the moment I arrive. As I step aboard my subway car I notice...

It’s Scary Out There

Ring. Ring. “Cacciatores Risotorante,” a perky female voice answers. “How may I help you?” “Good afternoon,” I say. “I was wondering if you were looking for wait staff.” “I’m so sorry,” the girl says...

We Don’t Need No Stinking Soda!

“May I get you something to drink?” I ask the teetering octogenarian on table 17. “Gimme a soda with no ice,” the old woman snaps. “Of course madam,” I reply. “And I want ice on the side,” she screeches. Not so loud Grandma. Turn up the hearing aid. “Of course...