by waiter | Dec 13, 2014 | Uncategorized
I’m at the Laundromat with my daughter washing her clothes. As Natalie sits in her car seat playing with her doll, I think for the hundredth time how I have to buy a house. My own washer and dryer would be nice. “Hey lady,” a loud voice booms out of sight. “I want a...
by waiter | Dec 6, 2014 | Uncategorized
I’m driving to work when my wife calls me on my cellphone. Answering using the hands free gizmo my car is immediately filled with the wails of a crying baby. “Natalie burned herself,” my wife says, choking back tears. “How?” “I was in the kitchen,” Annie says,” I...
by waiter | Nov 22, 2014 | Uncategorized
I’ve been floated up to the geriatric psych ward and I’m not happy. When I was younger I didn’t sweat working with old people. Back then old age and death seemed impossibly far away. Now, with my fiftieth birthday in sight, the demented elderly chattering around me...
by waiter | Nov 20, 2014 | Uncategorized
It’s five-thirty and I’ve just finished the lovely sandwich my wife made for me when Hakim sticks his head in the break room. “Can you do me a favor?” the young nurse asks. “Sure.” “You know that new patient in 308?” “He’s been in bed all day.” “He came in...
by waiter | Nov 6, 2014 | Uncategorized
If you’ve ever waited tables, at some point in your nocturnal life, you’ve had a “waiter dream.” These nightmares usually share common thematic elements; you’ve got a hundred customers who all hate you, the restaurant’s layout is bizarrely different, the menu’s a...
