Four ladies finish their entrees. After the busgirls clear and crumb the table I bring over the dessert menus.

It’s time for me to become the devil.

“Ladies,” I say sweetly, “We have some excellent desserts tonight.”

“Oh, nothing for me,” Bubbly Blonde replies.

“No dessert,” Severe Brunette says, holding up her hand.

“Me neither,” Lawyer Babe says firmly.

The fourth woman, a Soccer Mom type, looks at her companions and sighs. She wants dessert.

“If no one’s having anything I guess I’ll take a pass,” she says.

I see the longing for chocolate in Soccer Mom’s eyes. She’s my weak link. My in.

“Would anyone like some coffee?” I ask. Suggesting coffee is the first stage in selling dessert to calorie resistant ladies.

“I’ll have a regular coffee with skim milk,” Severe Brunette says.

“Me too,” Bubbly Blonde says.

Soccer Mom’s still staring at the dessert menu in my hand.

“I make an excellent cappuccino,” I say, “Would you like to try one?”

“That sounds great,” Soccer Mom says.

“So you’ll have one?”


“You got it.”

Lawyer Babe refuses anything. But she looks like a daily workout nuts and twigs kind of gal.

“I’ll leave the dessert menus here in case you change your minds,” I say.

“Thank you,” Soccer Mom says, opening it up. Come to daddy darling. Come to daddy.

I go to the back and pour two coffees. Then I make a gorgeous multi layered cappuccino in a tall clear glass that makes the regular coffee look absolutely pedestrian. But then again, that’s part of my evil plan.

“Oh that cappuccino looks good,” Bubbly Blonde sighs. Severe Brunette’s eyes glass over.

“If you’d like I’ll take the coffees back and make you one,” I offer.

“Oh that’s too much trouble,” Bubbly says.

“Not a problem Madam.”

“Ok I’ll have one,” Bubbly says.

“Me too,” Severe Brunette chirps.

“And you Madam?” I ask Lawyer Babe.

“I’m fine thank you.”

Ah, Lawyer’s going to be the tough one. Well, the harder the seduction the greater the pleasure.

I return with the cappuccinos. Soccer Mom and Bubbly are perusing the dessert menu.

“Anything ladies?” I ask.

“No,” Bubbly sighs, “We’re good.”

“I’ll come back in a few minutes,” I say.

I go to another one of my tables. They order a load of desserts – chocolate soufflé, berries with dollops of fresh whipped cream, tiramisu, and a fresh baked apple tort with vanilla gelato. As I deliver the desserts I notice Lawyer Babe’s eyes are tracking the plates in my hand like an Aegis radar.

“Can I get you ladies anything else?” I say, returning to their table.

“That tiramisu looked really good,” Soccer Mom says.

“It is good,” I reply. “Goes really well with cappuccino.”

Lawyer Babe fixes me with a hard stare. “You’re the devil. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Every woman I’ve ever known Madam,” I reply.

Lawyer Babe laughs.

“I’ll bet that’s true.”

“We’ll share the tiramisu,” Soccer Mom says.

“But I want the apple pie,” Severe Brunette protests.

“Get both,” Bubbly says breathily.

“Ok, we’ll get both,” Soccer Mom says.

“Bring four forks,” Bubbly adds.

I turn to Lawyer Babe. I notice her pupils are dilated. She’s all mine.

“Anything madam?” I ask her.

“Goddammit,” she says, “Bring me the soufflé.”

I win.

“A good choice madam,” I say.

“Hurry before I change my mind.”

I go to the back and return with their desserts. I’m happy. I’ve just added $33 to their check.

The ladies eat their desserts with astonishing rapidity. I bring the bill. The ladies look sated and slightly guilty.

“I can’t believe I ate that,” Lawyer Babe says, “That’s an extra hour of cardio right there.” I notice she’s got some chocolate sauce on the corner of her mouth. Very cute.

“Worth every calorie madam.” I say.

“You are the devil.” Lawyer snorts.

“That’s my job madam,” I reply.

The ladies pay the bill, tip well, and leave. As I watch them go I think about how I got them to order dessert. To be a good salesman you have to have a seductive quality about you. Don’t believe me? Look at pharmaceutical reps.

But seduction, to me, isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

And that doesn’t just apply to dessert.

Buon Appetito.

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