by waiter | Oct 6, 2010 | Uncategorized
It’s a crisp autumn afternoon and I’m in a car hunting for parking on the Upper West Side. Unfortunately, finding a spot in this neighborhood is like trying to find a virgin in a whorehouse. Luckily I’m not driving. I’m convalescing you know. “Is that a spot?” my...
by waiter | Oct 4, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m leaving a hibachi place in Paramus, NJ when I see a Mercedes SUV swing into a handicapped spot. Two well-dressed parents with three equally bespoke children walk out of the car and into the restaurant. The adults are slim and in shape and none of the children have...
by waiter | Oct 1, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m laying on an operating table thinking about death. Now I’m just getting my gallbladder taken out. It’s a same day procedure and by nightfall I’ll be home sipping low fat soup and zoned out on Percocet. Or will I? My godfather went in for a routine hip replacement...
by waiter | Aug 17, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m at the cigar shop I patronize when a customer nicknamed Doc asks me a question. “Say I’m in a restaurant and the owner’s serving me.” Doc asks. “Do I tip him?’ “It depends,” I say. “On what?” “If no waiters are working but there’s busboys I’d still leave a tip.”...
by waiter | Aug 10, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m standing by the bar at Roots Steakhouse in Summit, New Jersey waiting for a table. Being a gentlemen I let my date have the only available stool. I’ve already drunk two margaritas so I’m now working on a bottle of Perrier. It’s all about pacing yourself. As I...
