There’s a rumor floating on the internet that President Bush’s twin daughters walked into Freemans restaurant in New York City and asked for a table. The maitre d’ reportedly replied that they “were full and would be for the next 4 years.” The entire restaurant cheered and did a round of shots to celebrate. The twins went somewhere else.

If the story is true then that maitre d’ is an asshole. Personally? I think the story’s bullshit.

A good waiter never discriminates. Never discusses politics. I’m sure the maitre d’ at Freemans is a seasoned pro.

So some shithead with too much time on his or her hands starts a rumor. Hey if it’s on the internet it must be true right? Well asshole here’s what you’ve accomplished:

Some Red State Bubba caught wind of the Freemans rumor and thinks it’s true and he’s seething. Taking his kids out to Burger King once a week is a big deal for him. (Believe me, I know from experience it’s a big deal for the kids too.) Bubba wants to take the wife out to a nice restaurant but can’t afford it. He and the Missus are busy working four jobs to pay for clothes and substandard healthcare much less go to a place like Freemans. Bubba hears how shabbily some Blue Staters allegedly treated two young women and now he thinks every person from the Northeast is a patronizing yuppie elitist.

So what happens when it comes time for him to vote? Does he cast his ballot for the Democrat who has some good ideas that could make his life easier? No. He votes Republican. Why? Because he can’t stand snobs like that fictitious maitre d’.

People will act counter to their own interests if they are made to feel like charity cases or culturally inferior. Republicans plug into that blue collar anti Brahmin rage very effectively. That’s why Bush won. The writer of that rumor might as well have been Karl Rove.

Rumor Writer your little lie will take money out of innocent people’s pockets. Feel better? The immigrants working in Freemans’ kitchen feel the American Dream in their bones. Who the fuck are you? You don’t like the President? Well tear yourself away from the internet porn and participate in the political process. Is politics for you about being good or bad – or being right and wrong? Are you so wrapped up in your political outrage you forgot how to treat people decently? That you feel compelled to promulgate lies? Get a life and don’t come to my place. You’ve coarsened the public debate. To those of you who bought into this rumor – shame on you. You are what Jon Stewart rightly called “a dick.”

Blue State. Red State. When you break bread in my place we are all Americans. Hang in there Freemans.

PS. If you think you’ve figured out my politics from this post – you haven’t.

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