Lord of the Flies?

It’s a beautiful summer’s day and two ladies are lunching al fresco on the patio. Everything is going swimmingly save for the insects that buzz around trying to catch a meal – or lay an egg.

It’s a slow shift. I am inside deeply engrossed in a book. The ladies rap on the window and beckon me with a finger to come outside. I am perturbed. I was getting to the good part.

“Yes ladies?” I inquire.

“Waiter please do something about these files.”

They are dining outside remember.

“I am sorry ladies but my powers of divinity have been suspended indefinitely.”


I go back inside to my book. You dine al fresco you takes your chances.

12 thoughts on “Lord of the Flies?”

  1. Murat Yilmaz says:

    ”I am sorry ladies but my powers of divinity have been suspended indefinitely.”


  2. Anonymous says:

    reminds me of the time a customer dining on our patio was stung by a bee that was likely attracted to the nearby flower pots. I apologized profusely and offered to look in our first aid kit for something but she shrugged me off. She then continued to point out how much it hurt each time I went back to their table to bring water or the check. She refused all of my offers to help the sting and instead suggested that I do something about the bugs… And of course complained to my manager on her way out that I was extremely unhelpful. Guess I shouldn’t have given up bee whispering!

  3. Абденби says:

    Прикольно написано и читать на ура!! Автор – молодец))

  4. Лукиан says:

    Удачно написано и читать взахлеб..

  5. Рабих Мохаммад says:

    Легко написано и афигенно в тему..

  6. Лука says:

    Удачно написано и читать на ура!!

  7. Леслав-бронислав says:

    Удачно написано и читать легко)) ТС – вызывает море положительных эмоций!!

  8. Леслав-юзек says:

    Удачно написано и читать легко)) Постер – вызывает только уважение))

  9. Ross Galbraith says:


  10. Snowy says:

    Всем здрям! Сегодня отмечаю вторую годовщину ведение своего блога. На поздравления не напрашиваюсь, хотелось бы узнать у автора и возможно у комментирующих: а какое время вы ведёте свой ресурс?
    Честно говоря, были сложные моменты, когда посещали мысли бросить это дело. Сначала из-за вылета из индекса ПС Яндекс, позже – из-за отсутствия времени. Но спустя какое то время начинаешь понимать, что иногда полезно выложить на лист (в данном случае на веб страницу 🙂 свои мысли, поделиться чем-то интересным со своими читателями. Автору сего ресурса хотелось бы пожелать, чтоб вдохновение на новые посты никогда не покидало! Удачи…

  11. Emilayday says:

    I used to work at a restaurant in Cape Cod that had outdoor dining, and pretty much got ALL the shifts outside for dinner (Which is the shittiest section). Whenever the weather looked iffy, we always warned the tables TWICE (once from the hostess, and once when I got to their table for drink orders) that if it started to rain, we could not move them inside (there is usually a minimum 45 minute way anywhere to 1.5 hours, and we do not accept reservations). Of course, they always ignore this. And of course, when it started to rain, sometimes thunderstorms, they would get pissed off that there were no available tables for them inside, let alone space even for them to stand, since our hour long waits mean people talk up all the standing room around the two bars. WE FUCKING WARNED YOU. Not only that, you can SEE the rain clouds yourself, it’s not like it just happened out of nowhere. Same thing with bugs when the sun went down…like hello…you are eating next to a MARSH in the summertime, have you not ever existed in nature before? We’ve also warned people that around 630/7 it gets pretty buggy out, even though we had bug candles. People are idiots.

  12. Emilayday says:

    oopsies *way=wait talk=take*…lay off the wine!

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