by waiter | Jul 24, 2012 | Uncategorized
It’s Monday morning and I’m in the bathroom performing my daily ablutions. After taking a hot shower with lots of soap, shampoo and conditioner, I towel off and go to the sink to shave. Not my favorite thing. Today, however, I’m trying something different. After...
by waiter | Jul 6, 2012 | Uncategorized
I need to refill my Lipitor prescription so I walk into the local Rite Aid with Ann in tow. “I’ll check my blood pressure while you’re waiting,” Ann says. Ann’s blood pressure is perfect, but she has a strange fetish. She likes the crushing feeling of a blood pressure...
by waiter | Jun 27, 2012 | Uncategorized
It’s Tuesday night and I’m walking through the Meadowland’s State Fair with my girlfriend, Ann. The weather is cool and breezy and attendance is sparse. That’s good because I won’t have to wait to get on a ride. And man, I love amusement park rides. “So what ride do...
by waiter | May 9, 2012 | Uncategorized
This is last minute, but I’ll be on Headline News at 5:40 today. I’m talking about automatic gratuities. Some restaurant called the cops on some people who wouldn’t pay! Should be fun.
by waiter | May 1, 2012 | Uncategorized
If you’ve come to this website after watching 20/20 or @Anderson Cooper, welcome! Most of my waiter stories can be found in the archives dating from 2004-2009. After that, you’ll find some fiction I wrote and some observations I’ve made about life. I...
by waiter | Apr 30, 2012 | Uncategorized
Hello again. Just wanted to let you know I’ll be on Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show tomorrow afternoon. (May 1) Please check your local listings for showtimes. Guess what? Anderson was a waiter once too! I knew I liked the guy.
by waiter | Apr 26, 2012 | Uncategorized
Hey everybody. I’ll be on ABC’s 20/20 this Friday night at 10PM. Set your DVRs!
by waiter | Apr 5, 2012 | Uncategorized
(Another Byrne story I wrote for fun. Comments and free editorial suggestions welcome.) Hoboken used to be a tough town filled with stevedores and working stiffs until a wave of New York real estate fetishists crossed the Hudson back in the 90’s and turned it into an...
by waiter | Mar 17, 2012 | Uncategorized
(Another Byrne story I wrote a while back. Experimenting with the genre. Enjoy!) It was two o’clock in the afternoon when I heard the shots ring out. If you’ve ever spent time around firearms, the sound of gunfire is unmistakable. Those who haven’t often mistake it...
by waiter | Mar 13, 2012 | Uncategorized
(I wrote this for giggles a while back. Not a very serious work, but I hope you enjoy it.) In my twenty years as both a cop and private investigator I’ve been asked to find a lot of things in New Jersey: murderers, rapists, thieves, drugs, stolen cars, putrefying body...
