by waiter | Apr 26, 2014 | Uncategorized
Waiter Rant is ten years old today. If you told me when I wrote that first post that it would lead to book deals, the NYT Bestseller List, Oprah, The Today Show and hundreds of radio and print interviews I would have said you were suffering from cocaine induced...
by waiter | Apr 17, 2014 | Uncategorized
It’s a cold December night and I’m taking my co-worker Tamisha home. She missed her bus and I don’t want her waiting at a bus stop freezing and alone. What can I say? I’m a nice guy. “You sure you know the way?” I say, guiding my car through the streets of Newark....
by waiter | Apr 17, 2014 | Uncategorized
It’s 10:00 PM and I’m sitting in the day room of the psych unit writing my patient notes. Because the hospital’s somewhat antediluvian, I have to scribble them out by hand. Unfortunately a Medicare auditor recently complained she couldn’t read my chicken scratch so my...
by waiter | Apr 10, 2014 | Uncategorized
I’m driving down a busy street when Natalie starts screaming. At this point I’ve discovered my daughter’s wailing doesn’t always constitute an emergency so I keep going. But when her cries hit migraine inducing decibel levels I start to worry. Is she strapped in...
by waiter | Apr 3, 2014 | Uncategorized
It’s Saturday afternoon when I pull into the drive-thru of my local Burger King with my baby in tow. Not the best nutritional choice, I know, but Natalie’s been a hot mess all morning and I haven’t eaten a morsel. Since parenthood begets frugality I order...
by waiter | Feb 25, 2014 | Uncategorized
It’s twenty-four hours after my daughter was born and our hospital room is filled with balloons, stuffed animals and well wishers coming to see that yes, I had finally managed to reproduce. As Annie basks in her new mother glory a nurse comes in and pulls me...
by waiter | Jan 19, 2014 | Uncategorized
Born January 16th at 8:06 PM. 7 pounds, 13 ounces and twenty inches long. Home now and running quite the sleep deficit. Mother and baby doing well.
by waiter | Dec 25, 2013 | Uncategorized
For our last “free” Christmas, my wife and I are going to the movies and having Chinese food! Happy Holidays!
by waiter | Dec 17, 2013 | Uncategorized
In addition to buying car seats, bassinets, clothes, carriages, thermometers, infant tubs, diapers, mobiles, blankets, toys; thinking of names, going to birthing classes, finding pediatricians and gaming daycare scenarios, another issue is pressing on my harried...
by waiter | Dec 13, 2013 | Uncategorized
These texts greeted me when I checked my cell-phone this morning. “You’re all on the internet!! For your Biden’s blunder about the Superbowl! Caught it on Fox News last night!” “Way to make the VP look stupid, bro. LOL!!!” Groaning I go to...
