by waiter | May 4, 2010 | Uncategorized
A couple of weeks ago I felt a strange sensation in my ass. I was sitting down watching television (Flash Forward) when I felt my cell phone vibrate in my left back pocket. But when I reached to it, much to my surprise, it wasn’t there. I shrugged it off. Maybe a...
by waiter | Apr 27, 2010 | Uncategorized
As I was reading today’s NY Post an article caught my eye. Turns out Stephen Baldwin of the Baldwin Brothers filed for bankruptcy earlier this summer and his friends have launched a website called The Restoration of Stephen Baldwin to help him pay off his debts. The...
by waiter | Apr 26, 2010 | Uncategorized
I still had some finishing touches to do for my next book so, to cut down on the distraction level; I went my parents in the hinterlands of Pennsylvania for some uninterrupted work time. It’s like a writer’s retreat on the cheap. My parents make sure I’m fed, sleep...
by waiter | Apr 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
Yep, the book’s done. Coming to fine bookstores and online retailers 11/02/10. Pre-order now! 🙂
by waiter | Apr 10, 2010 | Uncategorized
It’s a dazzling bright sunny day and I have to drive to the supermarket. Oh goody, I get to wear my sunglasses. But they’re not just any sunglasses, mind you. They’re my thousand-yard stare enhancing Ray-Ban Louisiana State Trooper sunglasses. When I stop at a traffic...
by waiter | Apr 8, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m in a small white building attending a seminar I really don’t want to be at. I think the topic’s religion. When we break for coffee I walk over to the glass wall that makes up the front of the building and look outside. In the distance high atop a hill, a huge...
by waiter | Mar 27, 2010 | Uncategorized
CAFÉ DE LIQUIDATION “We make all your problems disappear – deliciously” Lè Menu Primi * Threatening phone calls delivered with a flavoring of subtle menace. 20 * Threatening phone calls delivered with powerful overtones of menace. 25 * Line caught Chilean...
by waiter | Mar 20, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m at the dog park with Buster enjoying a beautiful day when one of the regulars taps me on the shoulder. “Hey,” he says. “Look. There’s a hawk over there.” I turn around and see a large brown hawk standing fifty yards outside the fence. “Wow,” I say. “There’s...
by waiter | Mar 19, 2010 | Uncategorized
The Internet is a truly wondrous place. Without it I never would’ve started Waiter Rant, gotten noticed and become an author. So I guess I’m indebted to Vinton Cerf and all the people who made this amazing web of communication and ideas possible. And to think the...
by waiter | Mar 19, 2010 | Uncategorized
It’s midnight and I’m in the drive thru lane of a Burger King. I just came back from picking up Buster from his “doggy mama” and I’m famished. “Hello and welcome to Burger King,” a staticy voice says though the drive thru intercom. “What would you like to...
