We make all your problems disappear – deliciously”

Lè Menu


* Threatening phone calls delivered with a flavoring of subtle menace. 20

* Threatening phone calls delivered with powerful overtones of menace. 25

* Line caught Chilean Sea Bass wrapped in newspaper and delivered to lè problem’s doorstep. 50

* Breaking lè problem’s window with bottle of Bacardi Reserve 150 Proof Rum stuffed with flaming fine     linen. 60

* Wound infliction with a French sea salt rub. 70

* Fracturer dè Phalange. 40 per digit. 2 digit minimum

* Fracturer dè Jambe. 100 per

* Flambé dè Automobile. 400

* Baked head of equus with rosemary rub deposited in lè problem’s boudoir. Seasonal.


* Es œufs avec du cyanide. 500

* Bludgeon dè Head 525

* Étranglement du Homme. 600 (Piano wire extra)

* Poignarder avec un couteau with extra long blade. 700

* Flambé du Homme en kerosene. 900

* Poison dart with Fugu fish toxin. 1000

* Mort de Balistique .22 caliber. 1200

*Mort de Balistique. 7.65 millimeter. 1300

* Mort de Balistique 9 millimeter Luger 1400

* Mort de Balistique de .45 ACP 1500

* Mort de Balistique – High Powered Rifle 3000

* Lè Bombe!

TNT  4000
C-4  5500
Torpex  6000
Octol  7000
Chemical 8000
Biologiques  10,0000

* Mort du naturel. (The chef will be happy to make it look like a stroke, myocardial infarction or severely impacted colon.) 20,000

* Mort du Accident  (Your choice of car accident, drowning or sexual auto asphyxiation gone horribly wrong.) 25,000

* Mort én Circumstances à embarrass. (Post mortem photograph with tranny hooker included.)  30,000

* Le’ Jimmy Hoffa. 40,000 (Lè Problem will just disappear. Your choice of concrete bath, wood chipper or acid.)

* Lè permanent exile to New Jersey (Fatal to most Manhattanites) Free

Delivery Available. We take Visa, MasterCard, JCB, Diner’s Club, Discover, Sexual Favors, Cash and American Express

A 20% Gratuity will be added to murders of six or more people.

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