by waiter | Jun 9, 2007 | Uncategorized
I thought this guy’s website was hilarious. The Breaded Reptile with a Whipped Grits sounded great. I’m sure some NYC chef desperate for inspiration will cycle through this thing ad infinitum. Check it out.
by waiter | Jun 8, 2007 | Uncategorized
I’m sitting at a bar drinking a pint of beer. The bar’s around the corner from my house. It has decent food and cute waitresses. Talk about convenient. The outside tables are crowded with people getting drunk and smoking cigarettes. I notice many of the revelers are...
by waiter | May 31, 2007 | Uncategorized
“Drop off or pick up?” the rental car salesman asks me. “Pick up,” I reply. “Are you going through insurance?” “Yes. I already made a reservation.” “Just have a seat sir,” the clerk says. “I’ll be with you in a sec.” I sit in a plastic chair and sift though the car...
by waiter | May 29, 2007 | Uncategorized
It’s Saturday night and I’m waiting on a table of twenty adolescent girls celebrating their friend’s sixteenth birthday. The parents of the birthday girl are sitting with friends on the opposite side of the restaurant, ostensibly to give the teenagers some privacy....
by waiter | May 29, 2007 | Uncategorized
“I have to take you home Virginia.” “But I don’t want to go home.” “I’m sure you don’t.” “Can you make me go home?” Virginia asked, idly pushing a hash brown into a pool of ketchup. “Yes.” We were eating bacon and eggs inside a coffee shop across from the Port...
by waiter | May 27, 2007 | Uncategorized
As some of you may have noticed, Waiter Rant was out of commission for the past several days. Somebody hacked into my site and inflicted enough damage to necessitate a total shutdown. The rational part of me knows that some 14 year old kid probably did this to get mad...
by waiter | May 15, 2007 | Uncategorized
Its the tail end of the lunch shift. I pretend to watch the office girls walking past the front window as I eavesdrop on two of my customers. I know that’s not very polite but its an interesting conversation. Besides, Im bored. “I don’t know,”...
by waiter | May 11, 2007 | Uncategorized
It’s Thursday night. The headwaiter’s stuck me in a three table section by the men’s room. The few customers I have are low spending college students pissed off that they’re sitting by the toilet. They probably feel like they’re being...
by waiter | May 1, 2007 | Uncategorized
It’s a drizzly grey afternoon. I’m standing in a five foot deep by five foot wide hole in the ground. A man is standing above me holding a pickaxe and smoking a cigarette. “Dig you bastard,” he says menacingly. “Dig.” “I think...
by waiter | Apr 30, 2007 | Uncategorized
It’s eleven fifteen on Saturday morning. Julie and I are sitting on a park bench waiting for the restaurant to open. Javier was supposed to unlock the doors at 9:30 but hes missing in action. The busboys and kitchen staff are milling around the front entrance...
