by waiter | Oct 31, 2014 | Uncategorized
I’m on the checkout line in the supermarket when a teenaged boy comes up to me with an extra large carton of eggs. “Excuse me, sir.” he says. “Could you buy these eggs for me?” My shopping cart is loaded with stuff. “You have one thing.” I say. “You can go ahead...
by waiter | Oct 28, 2014 | Uncategorized
“Stephen, dear,” Connie says. “Please refill my ice water.” I don’t even look up from my chart. “Connie, the water machine is right over there. You’re perfectly capable of getting it.” “I’m too old. Be a nice young man and get me my water. A cup of tea...
by waiter | Oct 27, 2014 | Uncategorized
It’s 7:00 PM and I’m tired so I go into the staff room and brew a pot of coffee. Within minutes the smell of java fills the nurse’s station. Normally I take it black but, as I’ve gotten older, I like it with milk and sugar in the evenings. After fixing my cup I sit at...
by waiter | Oct 24, 2014 | Uncategorized
I’ve got the baby all to myself and a Nor’Easter is blowing outside. If I don’t take Natalie outside for a walk she won’t take a nap. That means Daddy won’t get a nap. Not good. When there’s a lull in the storm I load my daughter into the car and head over to the...
by waiter | Oct 19, 2014 | Uncategorized
A couple of days ago a friend of mine, an avowed foodie, texted the above picture to my cell phone. “I disagree,” I wrote back. “As do I,” he replied. “Sometimes that’s my only meal!” I like brunch, but brunch done right. Post-waiter-stress trauma makes me leery...
by waiter | Apr 28, 2014 | Uncategorized
I’m in the break room writing my notes while my coworker Jorge fiddles with his iPhone. “Check this shit out,” he says. I look up from my paperwork. My younger colleagues are very enamored with their smartphones. “What?” I say....
by waiter | Apr 26, 2014 | Uncategorized
Waiter Rant is ten years old today. If you told me when I wrote that first post that it would lead to book deals, the NYT Bestseller List, Oprah, The Today Show and hundreds of radio and print interviews I would have said you were suffering from cocaine induced...
by waiter | Apr 17, 2014 | Uncategorized
It’s a cold December night and I’m taking my co-worker Tamisha home. She missed her bus and I don’t want her waiting at a bus stop freezing and alone. What can I say? I’m a nice guy. “You sure you know the way?” I say, guiding my car through the streets of Newark....
by waiter | Apr 17, 2014 | Uncategorized
It’s 10:00 PM and I’m sitting in the day room of the psych unit writing my patient notes. Because the hospital’s somewhat antediluvian, I have to scribble them out by hand. Unfortunately a Medicare auditor recently complained she couldn’t read my chicken scratch so my...
by waiter | Apr 10, 2014 | Uncategorized
I’m driving down a busy street when Natalie starts screaming. At this point I’ve discovered my daughter’s wailing doesn’t always constitute an emergency so I keep going. But when her cries hit migraine inducing decibel levels I start to worry. Is she strapped in...
