by waiter | Dec 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m sitting in the cigar shop again, basking in my post Today Show glory when Philo comes in to pick up a smoke on his way to work. “I got a six hundred dollar tip today,” he crows. “That’s great I say. “Congrats.” “That shit when right into my pocket.” “Righteous....
by waiter | Dec 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
If you’re like me, you were horrified to watch that video of Clay Duke shooting up a school board meeting in Panama City, Florida. Ranting incoherently, Mr. Duke was shot by a security guard and then took his own life. Luckily no innocent people were killed. Of course...
by waiter | Dec 15, 2010 | Uncategorized
Hey everybody. Sorry I’ve been away so long. Been busy. And I’m going to be talking to Matt Lauer on The Today Show tomorrow morning! Tune in around 8:30. Happy Holidays!
by waiter | Dec 15, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m sitting in my cigar shop puffing on a Maduro when Philo, a doorman who works in an exclusive Upper West Side building, walks in. “Hey Philo,” I say. “How are the Christmas tips going?” “Jesus Christ,” he says. “The tenants are already starting to bitch about it.”...
by waiter | Nov 2, 2010 | Uncategorized
You have two things to do today. 1. Vote 2. Buy Keep the Change And not necessarily in that order! 🙂
by waiter | Oct 29, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m at a McCormick and Schmick’s restaurant with a date. As we peruse the cocktail menu I see a drink that almost gives me an orgasm – a dirty Grey Goose martini with olives stuffed with blue cheese and bacon. “I’m so getting that,” I tell my date. “Vodka,...
by waiter | Oct 27, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m standing in the middle of a corn maze in Chester, New Jersey and I’m pissed. “I hope you’re happy,” I say to my friend Alicia. “We’re lost.” “What’s the point of going to a corn maze if you don’t get lost?” she says. “That’s the fun part.” When a guy goes into a...
by waiter | Oct 21, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’ll also be at these places! Wednesday, November 17th Barnes & Noble at Boston University Bookstore 660 Beacon Street Boston, Massachusetts 7:00 PM Monday, November 22nd RJ Julia Booksellers 768 Boston Post Rd. Madison, Connecticut 7:00...
by waiter | Oct 20, 2010 | Uncategorized
Keep the Change is coming out November 2nd and I’ll be hitting the road for a book tour. Here’s a list of the dates and places. If you can make it, I’d love to see you! Wednesday, November 03, 2010 07:30 PM BARNES & NOBLE 395 Route 3 E Clifton, NJ 07014 Thursday,...
by waiter | Oct 19, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m driving along a Jersey highway when I see a sign that reads, The Mall at Short Hills. “God, I hate that,” I say to my friend Alicia. “The Mall at Short Hills. So friggin pretentious.” For those of you who have never heard of the place, The Short Hills Mall is one...
