by waiter | May 10, 2005 | Uncategorized
I’m standing on the shore of a tropical island when a beautiful blonde in skimpy white bikini emerges from the surf like Venus Rising from the sea. I admire her long legs as she sashays suggestively towards me. “Hi,” she says breathlessly....
by waiter | May 7, 2005 | Uncategorized
Fluvio and I are eating lunch at change of shift. It’s payday. The lunch waitress happily counts the day’s take as the dinner staff trickles in. “Hey Arlene, how was lunch?” Louis asks in greeting. “$200!” Arlene chirps merrily. She had a great shift. “Not bad…” Louis...
by waiter | May 5, 2005 | Uncategorized
It has come to my attention that WaiterRant’s site statistics are less than transparent. To remedy that situation I have decided to make those statistics public. Click on the StatCounter “counter.” Type “reader” into both the username and password fields and your in!...
by waiter | May 4, 2005 | Uncategorized
The service bar in my bistro is a cramped cluttered affair – jammed into a corner next to the coffee machine. Ten varieties of vodka compete with gin and wine bottles for space. Whenever you grab the tequila you risk knocking several bottles to the floor. I’m...
by waiter | May 2, 2005 | Uncategorized
I’m sitting in the Irish pub after work hoisting a few pints with my fellow server Beth. You remember her. She’s the one that was still wearing Underoo’s when I graduated college. The beer and the conversation flow freely. “When I was in the third grade I was mauled...
by waiter | May 1, 2005 | Uncategorized
The woman on table sixteen is a forty year old, slightly drunk, voluptuous peroxide blond. And her ass is halfway out of her pants. Leaning forward in animated conversation she’s oblivious that her backside is sliding out of her jeans. I can’t help but notice it’s a...
by waiter | Apr 29, 2005 | Uncategorized
I’m training a couple of new waiters. I forget their names. Actually, I don’t want to know their names. They probably won’t last long. Being a waiter is like being a soldier in combat. Veterans don’t want get to know the green recruit. They’re going to get blown...
by waiter | Apr 27, 2005 | Uncategorized
I’ve only had to physically throw out one customer in all my time as a waiter. The guy at Clublife gets to do it every night! An entertaining blog about a bouncer in NYC. Go read!
by waiter | Apr 25, 2005 | Uncategorized
Waiter Rant is one year old today. Can you believe it?
by waiter | Apr 25, 2005 | Uncategorized
Twice a week Mr. Escher comes into the bistro to get takeout for his wife. Twice a week I get to hear how much he hates her. “Are you married?” Mr. Escher asks me while paying for his order. “No sir. I’m not.” “Good. Never get...
