by waiter | Jan 18, 2006 | Uncategorized
The woman on table 23 lost her child a few months ago. Cancer. I haven’t seen her in months. She’s eating with friends. They’re talking about nothing which is supposed to distract her from thinking about everything. They finish and pay the bill. The mother walks out....
by waiter | Jan 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
“Good evening and welcome to The Bistro,” I cheerfully greet my new arrivals, a middle aged couple ensconced in the best table in the house. “Can I get you something from the bar?” “We’ll have wine,” the husband says. “We have an excellent selection,” I reply. “Would...
by waiter | Jan 6, 2006 | Uncategorized
The lunch rush has ended. Except for a couple of drunken lunching ladies, the restaurant’s empty. The staff’s in the back busily devouring their lunch. Smells like Ernesto made tacos today. I’ve already eaten. I’m up by the front window sipping a cappuccino and...
by waiter | Jan 4, 2006 | Uncategorized
On New Year’s Eve I got a raise – courtesy of the Great State of New York. At the stroke of midnight the minimum wage for tipped employees (that’s me) went from $3.85 to $4.35 an hour. After taxes that comes out to a little over $500 extra a year. I’m happy to...
by waiter | Dec 31, 2005 | Uncategorized
This one’s for you Lou! 1. Have a designated driver or call a cab. Spending New Year’s Day in jail (or the morgue) is not a good idea. 2. Leave the drugs at home. 3. Leave the kids at home. 4. If you must bring the kids, bring the drugs. Give ‘em to the waitstaff!...
by waiter | Dec 30, 2005 | Uncategorized
It’s my day off and I need a new pair of black shoes. My old waiter clogs are getting ratty. New Year’s Eve will soon be upon us. I need to look my best. So I decide to drive over to the mall and buy a couple of pairs with my newfound Christmas loot. Of course the...
by waiter | Dec 28, 2005 | Uncategorized
I’m not a wine guy. I like whisky and beer. But I appreciate the artistry that goes into making wine and I respect people who have a good grasp of Oenology. However, since most people are dopes when it comes to ordering wine, I’ve assembled a list of tips to help you...
by waiter | Dec 27, 2005 | Uncategorized
Here are some bits of wisdom I picked up over the years from people, books and film. Wherever possible I’ve made attribution. “Never make a decision when you’re high in the sky or down in the dumps.” – my high school principal. (On relationships) “If it isn’t fun in...
by waiter | Dec 25, 2005 | Uncategorized
To all Waiter Rant readers – my best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And, oh yeah, for the first time since 1959 the first day of the Festival of Lights is on December 25th! Happy Hanukkah! Have fun!
by waiter | Dec 22, 2005 | Uncategorized
Hi Guys. Sorry for the lack of posts. I’ve been sick and it’s the Holidays. Between work and shopping I’ve had no time to write. Here’s a story I was working on last week. In retrospect, with the MTA strike, the title is prophetic…………………. I have a problem with table...
