by waiter | Aug 18, 2006 | Uncategorized
My roommate and I watched the horror movie “Final Destination 3” last night. For those of you unfamiliar with the series, it’s about a group of teenagers who narrowly escape getting killed in a horrible accident. But Death, refusing to be cheated, hunts down and kills...
by waiter | Aug 16, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Sunday night. The dinner rush is over. I’m reconciling my tips when Saroya comes up to me. “Look at this,” she says, holding a business card in front of my face. I look at the card. It reads “PICK A NUMBER 1 2 3 4.” “What’s this?” I ask. “The customers on table...
by waiter | Aug 14, 2006 | Uncategorized
Normally I find Al Fresco diners annoying. But one of my favorite couples snags an outside table and requests me as their waiter. Since the woman’s gorgeous I’m happy to oblige. “Good evening,” I say, cheerfully handing them menus. “Nice to see you again.” “Nice to...
by waiter | Aug 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Saturday night and Beth looks like shit. “What’s the matter with you?” I ask. “You look like somebody beat you up.” “Gee, thanks for the compliment,” Beth sneers. “You trip the light fantastic last night?” “Huh?” “Partying?” “Oh yeah,” Beth replies, waving her...
by waiter | Aug 7, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s late afternoon and the thermometer reads a pleasant 85 degrees. The only problem? That’s the temperature inside the Bistro. “Why does the A/C decide to crap out now?” Beth, one of our servers, wails. “Today of all days.” “Because it’s a hundred degrees out,”...
by waiter | Aug 2, 2006 | Uncategorized
I am pleased to announce that I have secured a book deal with Ecco, an imprint of Harper Collins, for Waiter Rant: A Behind the Scenes Look at the Front Lines of Dining Out. I would like to thank Dan Halpern and Ecco for giving me this opportunity. I look forward to...
by waiter | Jul 28, 2006 | Uncategorized
There’s a tired piece of corruption that unscrupulous restaurant owners and managers love foisting on hardworking waiters – tip stealing. Simply put, some managers insist on getting “tipped out” at the end of the night like a bus person or bartender. It’s almost...
by waiter | Jul 27, 2006 | Uncategorized
Beth and I are in the kitchen drinking coffee. The lunch shift’s drawing to a close. The restaurant’s almost empty. Beth can’t wait to go home. “I’ve worked like six doubles in a row,” she says. “I can’t take it anymore.” “I’m here twelve days straight,” I reply. “I...
by waiter | Jul 24, 2006 | Uncategorized
“So how’s the party going?” I ask Beth, one of our waitresses. “Not bad considering,” she replies shrugging. “So who was the deceased?” I ask. “Did you find out?” “Their grandma,” Beth says. “She was like 90.” “An old soul whose time had come,” I say. ( whose ) “I...
by waiter | Jul 17, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s early Saturday night and one of my customers is throwing a fit. The problem probably started when he threw food at the woman sitting next to him. The situation’s out of control. Plates and utensils litter the floor. The lady’s covered with food. She yells...
