by waiter | Dec 4, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Wednesday night and I’m at the gym. I’ve been working out faithfully since the middle of summer. My cholesterol’s down, I’ve lost some weight, and my doctor’s thrilled with my blood pressure. The health benefits are nice, but...
by waiter | Dec 1, 2006 | Uncategorized
When customers ask me, “What else do you do?” they’re operating from the usually correct assumption that waiters are always working on another gig; singing, writing, acting, modeling, etc. However, some of us are really waiters. This is our...
by waiter | Nov 30, 2006 | Uncategorized
Hi everybody. I’m sorry Waiter Rant’s such a mess. The old software that previously ran the site was getting buggy and had to be replaced. Unfortunately, a whole host of other problems emerged during the switch. The web team over at SoundQue is diligently...
by waiter | Nov 21, 2006 | Uncategorized
“Congratulations Assemblyman,” I say to the newly elected member of the Legislature. “Thanks,” the politician says. “Did you vote for me?” “I’m not in your district,” I reply. The Assemblyman laughs. A regular...
by waiter | Nov 20, 2006 | Uncategorized
“Can you explain fetishes to me?” Georgie, our Sunday hostess asks me. This isn’t a question I field everyday. “Why are you asking?” I reply. “You majored in psych didn’t you?” “I did.” “I’m...
by waiter | Nov 13, 2006 | Uncategorized
The hostess escorts a young couple to my section. As they walk to their table I notice they’re looking around nervously, like they’re out of their element. Maybe the Bistro’s the first fancy restaurant they’ve ever gone to. I sigh inwardly....
by waiter | Nov 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s 2:00 AM. I’m standing in line at a convenience store holding a half gallon of milk.� The stores part of a national chain. I don’t much care for it but it’s on the way home. A young guy and his girlfriend wait anxiously in front of me. When...
by waiter | Nov 6, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Thursday night and I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed that a pharmaceutical company reserved a back table for twelve people at seven o’clock. I’m annoyed because the pharmacy rep is a snooty power-pantsuited bitch. I’m annoyed that...
by waiter | Nov 2, 2006 | Uncategorized
I’m at the dog park with Buster, my joint custody pooch, trying to explain what joint custody poochdom means to the cute brunette with the words “Juicy” stenciled across her ass, when a black Mercedes suddenly comes screeching into the parking lot. A...
by waiter | Oct 27, 2006 | Uncategorized
The man on table 23 raises his hand and performs the scribble signal for the check. I nod in acknowledgment and head to the POS computer to print it up. All in all 23 wasn’t a bad table – man, wife, mother-in-law – the usual kind of late Sunday...
