by waiter | Nov 10, 2004 | Uncategorized
It’s 5:00 pm on Saturday and the joint is filling up fast. I walk outside to grab a quick smoke before all hell breaks loose. Puffing away I spy a spandex clad girl jogging towards me. Ah, I smile inwardly; I’m in for a treat – its Gym Babe. Gym Babe, a tall, twenty...
by waiter | Nov 8, 2004 | Uncategorized
It’s a slow shift. Rizzo and I are sitting in the back drinking coffee and reading the papers. I’ve only been a waiter a few months. The reality of my situation is sinking in.“This job sucks.” I say simply. Rizzo lowers his paper and says, “You think it sucks because...
by waiter | Nov 7, 2004 | Uncategorized
I go into Starbucks to get my pre shift daily fix when I notice a strange plastic object hanging over the register. “What’s that thing?” I ask my nose ringed tattooed hipster barista. “A video camera.” he replies flatly. “A what?” I say incredulously. “A video camera...
by waiter | Nov 5, 2004 | Uncategorized
Got off a few zingers tonight……….. “Waiter is the tiramisu any good?” “Why sir it’s one of our most popular desserts.” “It didn’t ask if it was popular I asked if it was good.” “Well sir if it wasn’t good it wouldn’t be popular.” “Oh……..” What a shithead...
by waiter | Nov 5, 2004 | Uncategorized
I am waiting on a table of three hotties. They flirt, they drink; they’re loud and obnoxious. I keep the happy smile plastered on my face – their check is $300. As they leave I pick up the check and look at my tip. Zero. Zip. Zlich. Nada. I am pissed. The ladies,...
