The Dogs of War

It’s my day off. I’m writing on my laptop when my dog bounds into my lap and starts licking my face.

“What do you want now?” I ask.

Buster looks at me, panting expectantly.

“Dog park?” I ask. “You want to go play?”

Buster emits a low growl. That’s “yes” in his particular language.

I put Buster on a leash, grab my coat and keys, and head out the door. The park is a short walk away. I need the exercise.

The weather is sunny and pleasant. The dog park will be full. That’s good. There’ll be plenty of dogs for Buster to chase. My dog is small but someone forgot to tell him that. He mixed it up with a Rottweiler once. Buster likes to write checks his body can’t cash.

As we head toward the park Buster whimpers, straining expectantly on the leash. This is his favorite part of the day. Come to think of it, it’s mine too.

As I expected the park is packed. The place is teeming with dogs and owners of all shapes and sizes. As I walk through the gate I see the Russian woman making baby talk to her poodle. A couple of young guys are talking about football as their dogs playfully slug it out. An old man and woman hold hands as they watch their Italian Greyhounds prance gingerly around the fracas, as if somehow they’re above it all.

I walk inside the gate and let Buster off his leash. Suddenly I hear a dog cry out in pain. I turn my head towards the noise. A man is holding a puppy by the scruff of its neck and shaking it violently.

My vision tunnels. I’m aware of nothing else.

“What the fuck are you’re doing!” he yells at the dog, “What the fuck!”

The man throws the dog on the ground hard. Then he kicks it.

The dog whimpers in pain and rolls on its back. The man goes to kick it again.

“HEY! STOP KICKING THE GODDAMN DOG!” I hear a voice roar.

The man stops mid kick and looks at me. With a shock, I realize it’s me who’s yelling.

“YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” the man screams.

Our eyes lock. I suddenly have a vision of me kneecapping this asshole with a tire iron, kicking in his teeth, and asking him how he likes it. An immense wave of anger erupts inside my chest and my vision clouds red. Cry Havoc! And let slip the dogs of war.

But some part of my brain, conditioned by years working in mental hospitals, reasserts itself. There was something in that man’s scream. Something brutal and stupid, something fearsome and ugly, that makes me pause. My vision untunnels. I become aware of the fact that the guy I yelled at is 6’3, 280 pounds, and built like a brick shithouse.

Uh oh.

The man continues to stare at me. Suddenly I realize I’m no match for this guy. Suddenly I realize I’m afraid. The dog of war slips its tail between its legs and runs away.

I’m breathing hard. The man eyeballs me. He’s processing his options too. Everything hinges on his response. If he comes after me, I’m running. If he catches me, well, then I have to go down a road I don’t want to go.

The man grunts and walks away. Thank God.

I stand by the gate, shaking with unexpressed fury. I consider going home. I’ve seen enough animals for one day.

But then I reconsider. I’m not letting some Cro-Magnon meathead run me off. Fuck him. I walk onto the field.

Cro-Magnon regards me idly. Not being a complete idiot I walk over to the far side of the park. A cluster of people walk over to me.

“You all right?” the Russian woman asks.

“I’m fine.”

“Dude,” one of the football guys says, “That guy’s fucking huge.”

“I noticed that.”

“What an asshole,” another man says, “I saw him do that to his other dog a few months ago.”

“Jesus,” I exclaim, “He’s done this before?”

“Yeah he lifted his dog over his head and threw it on the ground.”

I look over where Cro-Magnon is sitting. He’s puffing on a cigarette and yelling into his cell phone. “

Buster scampers up to me. He’s got a new friend. Of course, it’s the puppy Cro-Magnon was kicking. It is a pit bull/

I hold out my hand. The dog licks it. I look into its eyes and I feel mine threaten to tear up. I want to bundle him up and put him in my car. But I can’t. I clamp down my emotions. You can’t save everyone or everything.

I give the dog a pat on the head and he runs off.

“Any idea why the guy was so angry?” I ask.

“I think his dog bit him,” one of the young guys answers.

I laugh ruefully. “If I was his dog I’d bite him too.”

“He was disciplining his dog,” another guy says.

“There are better ways to discipline a dog,” a woman counters.

“Whatever,” the guy says.

Cro-Magnon becomes aware that everyone is staring at him. After what seems like an eternity, he leashes his puppy up, gets into his car, and drives away.

“Well,” I say, “That’s that.”

“Jerk,” a man says.

“World’s full of ‘em” I reply.

“You’re lucky it ended there,” the man says, “He looks like he’d enjoy hurting you.”


“But you made him think,” the man chuckles.

“Maybe I did.”

We return to watching our dogs play. Buster sees a German Shepard four times his size and attacks. The Shepard doesn’t know what to make of him and runs away. Buster skids to a halt and does a little victory dance. He’s king of the hill. I have to keep an eye on him. One day he’ll tangle with the wrong dog.

It’s true what they say. Dogs become like their owners.

And I have to be more careful.

10 thoughts on “The Dogs of War”

  1. Dylan says:

    Buster reminds me of one of my past dogs. She was a teacup poodle named Missy, and she was the Queen of the neighborhood. She didn’t care how big the other dogs were, she would chase them down. That ended when she got caught between two pit bulls.
    Watch over Buster. He may not be as wise about picking his fights as you.

  2. arkanabar says:

    Buster probably isn’t. He reminds me of a Yorkie I know, astonishingly strong for his size, and very burly for his breed (10 lbs, but height and length within conformation limits). He eagerly takes on dogs eight times his size and pulls at their lips. Thus far, he’s gotten away with it.

  3. Kempeth says:

    I hate it when people mistreat their dog (or pets generally)! I really hope the other guy learned something for the dog’s sake…

    Sure, sometimes dogs need a little force applied but that was so way out of line.

  4. Darling Nikki says:

    Poor little bully puppy!!! Yes, pitbulls need a little more elbow grease than some other breeds in the whole discipline arena but kicking is not an acceptable method.

    Grrr…If I were that guy’s puppy I’d rip out his throat with my huge, powerful pitbull jaw.

  5. Chris says:

    That pit bull is gonna be trouble when he grows up. Being treated like that is gonna cause his killer instinct to kick in.

  6. doglover says:

    “Buster likes to write checks his body can’t cash.”

    This is how my father describes my little cocker spaniel. Only he doesn’t say body. Last weekend at the dog park, my little 24 lb dog decided to try to hump a big dobie and spent the rest of the day looking over his shoulder…it was like he couldn’t stop dropping the soap.

  7. Max says:

    I hope those dogs bite his dick off while he sleeps, the animal abusing fuck.

  8. Meagan says:

    I hate how stupid people are about pit bulls. They do not need extra work, because they are just dogs. The reason that dog bit his asshole owner is because the owner throws him around. If he were a bad dog, he would have bitten you too, Waiter.

    My puppy is a mutt. He’s mixed with pit bull, and he’s the sweetest dog I’ve ever had. 🙂

    In fact, we went to the dog park yesterday, and he didn’t get why he was there. He didn’t want to play with the dogs, didn’t want to play with the people, and instead decided to lay in the puddle of water the fountains left. I love him so much.

  9. Maui says:

    Three words:
    Call. for. authorities.
    That guy should go to jail for, like, ever. I hope the puppy is okay.

  10. Nay says:

    Here I am, commenting 5 years later and for the first time, but I had to, this post broke my heart. I hate people like that guy.

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