Crack Head Caroline

It’s a frigid Wednesday night in February and we’re preparing to close early. The temperature has never inched above five degrees. Domino’s pizza delivery might be busy but we sure as hell aren’t.

Sitting around counting our meager take for the night, we hear Caroline having an animated conversation with her boyfriend on a borrowed cell phone. I know what they are talking about. Crack.

Caroline and her boyfriend, also a waiter at a nearby restaurant, are degenerate lovers of the rock. Homeless, all their possessions stored in a beat up old car, they migrate from motel to motel, one fix to another. Tonight they have a small problem. Their combined nightly earnings can get them a motel room or drugs – but not both. They face a dilemma. Motel or crack? Crack or a motel? Hit the sheets or hit the pipe?

Sayeed, the manger, offers to let her crash in our warehouse a few blocks away. It’s unheated and only locks from the outside. In so many words he tells her that for his largesse sexual favors are expected. A pretty girl, whose looks are just beginning to be ravaged, Caroline has not yet reached that bottom. She takes a pass. Tears in her eyes, she walks over to the front door and waits for her boyfriend to pick her up.

We tell Sayeed he is a pig. He just laughs us off saying, “Let her freeze.”

I walk up to the front. Caroline’s face is pressed against the window looking onto the empty street. The wind howling outside only accentuates the feeling of desolation. Thinking of my nice warm apartment I do a stupid thing. I reach into my pocket and hand her my tips. Forty bucks.

“You can’t stay in your car tonight. Get a room.” I say as the boyfriend’s heap pulls up.

“Thank you.” she whispers. I watch her drive off. She waves smally.

I would like to say that Caroline slept well and decided to turn over a new leaf but that didn’t happen. Caroline didn’t get a room with my money – she just bought more crack. Her and her boyfriend slept in their car with the engine running.

Avoiding death by carbon monoxide poisoning, Caroline returned to work the next day. Unkempt and dirty, with pinpricks for eyes, she stumbled about making a million mistakes. Her tips were nonexistent. Luckily for her, the boyfriend had a banner night; crack and clean sheets for everybody.

Then a few days later she was gone. Word on the street was Caroline ditched her old man and took a bus down South to her parents. Maybe on that cold night she had a moment of clarity. Maybe she didn’t. Odds are she’s still a crackhead. I prefer to think of her sober, married, and living behind a white picket fence. I’ll never know. Whenever it’s cold and the wind howls I think of her.

Be well Caroline.

8 thoughts on “Crack Head Caroline”

  1. Murat Yilmaz says:

    Always hope for the best eh.

  2. Pete says:

    These entries are worth rereading (which is what I’m doing). I just wonder about the economics of all this… with so much great content here, why would anyone need to buy your book?! (BTW, since all of the comments were deleted in “the transition,” it’s terribly tempting to comment on *every* entry. But I’ll try to be good. I suppose that also means I should consider buying your book 🙂

  3. Liz says:

    “with so much great content here, why would anyone need to buy your book?”

    presents, baby. I can already think of four waiters (or ex waiters) who are getting this book for their birthday this year and I just discovered the blog ten minutes ago. (Thanks to Powells’ newsletter)

  4. Max says:

    Waste of fourty bucks. Sorry, Waiter, but it’s true.

  5. Ross Galbraith says:

    It is nice to see someone with so much compassion, i would likely have done teh same thing, fully knowing she was just going to score more drugs, but in my mind i would have done the right thing!

    well done waiter!

  6. leithold says:

    this makes me think of the moview requiem for a dream. sad, sad, ending.

  7. L. says:

    You write so well, I am going from the Oldest, to the Newest posts. And I’ve already read most of them from at least the last two years…guess I’ll have to buy the book(s) too. I’m happy for you, finding your way and going into full bloom as a writer.

  8. Former Waiter says:

    I think all of us who’ve worked in the industry have seen this at least once. So sad.

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