Is that a lady’s snatch on the wall or am I hallucinating?

Lots of doctors eat in our restaurant. Every couple of weeks pharmaceutical reps drag these guys in and treat them to dinner while pitching their particular brand of poison. Audiovisual presentations are a normal part of these ethically dubious dinners and last night’s was a dooszy.

We set the medical ten top in the back so the drug pushers could set up their power point projector to display images on the side wall near the entrance to the men’s room. The doctors arrived and immediately began to wolf down copious amounts of free wine and food while a rep showed her presentation to the assembled freeloading horde.

I was up front so I didn’t hear what the topic was nor did I care. It was easy money for the restaurant and I envied the waiter who caught the table. When I checked in to see how things were going I noticed the waiter looked kind of pale. I asked him what was wrong and he said he couldn’t believe the pictures they were showing on the wall. “What kind of pictures?” I asked. The waiter leaned forward and whispered in my ear “Broken pussy.”

Dumbfounded I peered around the corner and sure enough, displayed en flagrante on the wall was a woman’s malformed genitalia oozing some kind of pus. Shit. The pharmaceutical whores were pitching some treatment for some kind of gynecological medication: just what I want to see on the wall before I tuck into my dinner. We had to redirect all the other customers well away from the doctors so they did not upchuck their $30 entrees.

I couldn’t tell the fish specials the rest of the night with a straight face.


17 thoughts on “Is that a lady’s snatch on the wall or am I hallucinating?”

  1. Leighann says:

    Hahaha oh, Gosh. That’s priceless. I love it.

  2. schwab says:

    after a similar meeting at a restaurant i worked at i was excited to pick up the free pens that advertised for nuva ring – the vaginal ring contraceptive. something about leaving a pen for folks to sign their cc slip with that said “vaginal” on it.

  3. Scot says:

    Good lord! That’s hilarious. I’m back-tracking through your blogs and I gotta say, it’s brilliant. I’ve been serving for 5 years and this stuff just clicks. It’s great. Thanks a lot man. I gotta get that book.

  4. hannah says:

    This was hilarious. I cant imagine how they finished their meals. Giant broken vag to go along with dinner..great.

  5. Beth says:

    Schwab, at least you were in on the joke. Worked with a girl who layed a pen with checks for three days before realizing that the words “vaginal insert” were printed on it. Oh, shouldn’t probably mention this was a seafood restaraunt (on my mother’s life!).

  6. Chrsiti says:

    Oh don’t you just love those meetings. Me and a friend served a couple of dentists about a month ago and while they were eating, were presented with a slide show of putting in false teeth… with drills and blood and such. Mind you this wasn’t as disgusting as the vagina show, but the blood oozing out of the person’s mouth was just enough to make my stomach turn…

  7. Max says:

    Pharmaceutical whores is right. That’s terribly funny, though, in a disgusting way.

  8. CF says:

    I have been laughing for the last 5 minutes. Love the title!!!

  9. Sandra says:

    Very useful information. I think it is useful for many people. Thank you for your blogs.

  10. leithold says:

    hahaha priceless indeed. jeez nobody deserves to see a “broken pussy” unless your a doctor.

  11. Ginevra77 says:

    I wonder if they ever display pictures of broken penis at restaurants? Ick.

  12. Katsuro says:

    Heh. My dad has a free pen that advertises Viagra. You can extend it to a lenght of thre feet at least.

  13. WaitressSaint says:

    Ummm, my faves are the veterinary drug pushers who have photo slide shows of cat surgery looming over their table as they enjoy their free dining experience. I guess it one of the “perks of the job” for those vets. Like dealing with sick animals and their owners isn’t quite fun enough!

  14. Wine Rep In CT says:

    Yeah, I used to take tons of those big parties. I just read you book and am a huge fan. What are you doing now? Is a new book coming soon?

  15. Person N. Family says:

    Oh man… LOL. Epic fail. What the heck were they thinking?

  16. get your ex back says:

    Your style is unique compared to other people I’ve read stuff from. Thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark this web site.

  17. Ray says:

    Hahaha! Love it – pictures of “broken pussy” and lists of fish specials just go together.

    I’m in the medical field (but not a doctor). My coworker and I attended a pharma dinner many years ago at a fancy steakhouse, and the topic was a new (at the time) prescription cream for anal warts. Yes, close-up PowerPoint photos of cauliflower warts around various bungholes…

    The two of us were trying not to laugh out loud, because not only were the surrounding non-medical diners trying not to barf up their dinners (I have no idea why the pharma rep didn’t get a private room in the back – maybe too many attendees), but quite a few of the spouses of the medical types were turning green as well – this was back before non-medical guests were banned by the pharma ethics guidelines.

    To add to the farce, the patrons in the restaurant’s bar in the next room were having a good but noisy time, so the rep asked the restaurant manager to have them quiet down so the group could hear the speaker. Ha! Instead, the bar patrons started shushing each other loudly, with one female voice overheard saying, “Hey, we need to be quiet, they’re talking about ass warts next door!”, followed by gales of laughter.

    If I recall correctly, the pharma rep didn’t have a job the week after this goat rope…

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