by waiter | Dec 12, 2019 | Uncategorized
I was huffing and puffing on the Stairmaster at the gym a few weeks ago when I noticed a woman staring at me. In her early forties, she was fit, pretty, and wearing a tight workout garment that accentuated her shapely physique. Since I don’t suffer from the...
by waiter | Nov 7, 2019 | Uncategorized
“There’s someone her to see you,” one of my volunteers, said. “Who?” I said, not looking up from my paperwork. “A couple with two kids. They said they need to talk to you.” Even though Christmas is just under two months away, the food pantry I run is already...
by waiter | Sep 6, 2019 | Uncategorized
I driving to meet a friend at the cigar shop when my stomach started grumbling. Which was odd since I had only eaten dinner an hour before – a healthy meal of baked chicken, brown rice and a gigantic salad. But since I had done an hour of fairly intense cardio after...
by waiter | Sep 4, 2019 | Uncategorized
Yesterday I went looking for a homeless person who probably wasn’t going to accept any help. “Have you seen this person?” I asked two DPW workers doing landscaping in a nearby park. “Try the supermarket,” one of them told me. “Might be there. Walks around...
by waiter | Aug 17, 2019 | Uncategorized
“Excuse me,” I said to the lithe twenty-something after she uncoiled out of her improbable yoga pose. “Yes?” the girl said, her creep detection radar blasting enough wattage to boil my blood away. “Are you using this box for your workout?” “Oh,...
by waiter | Aug 12, 2019 | Uncategorized
When I woke up Sunday morning, I decided to be a good daddy and take my daughter to the movies. “We’ll see that live action Dora the Explorer movie,” I told my wife. “She’s been asking me to take her.” “Great,” my wife, said. “Keep her out of...
by waiter | Aug 7, 2019 | Uncategorized
A few weeks ago our dishwasher, an old Kenmore that came with the house, gave up the ghost. After decades of barebones apartment living washing dishes by hand, the thought of not having a machine to do that chore was anathema to my middle class soul. So my...
by waiter | May 17, 2019 | Uncategorized
On a stormy day a while back an old woman came into my office and gave me a donation. “You do good work here,” she said, slipping me twenty, “I wanted to contribute a little bit.” I knew the woman had lost her husband a few months ago and, judging from her clothes and...
by waiter | Apr 29, 2019 | Uncategorized
I was sitting in the dentist’s chair waiting to get my tooth filled when one of the dental techs hurried into the room. “There was a stabbing at the deli!” she said. “What?” the dentist said. “When?” “A few minutes ago. A woman was stabbed eleven times. Three times in...
by waiter | Apr 23, 2019 | Uncategorized
I was waiting in an exam room in my cardiologist’s office, watching the clock. My appointment was for 5:40. It was now 6:45. “He’ll be just a minute,” an assistant said, poking her head into the room. “Hang in there.” “If I’m the lowest priority in the...
