by waiter | Apr 10, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s closing time. The restaurant’s almost empty. My last table’s paying the bill. The cooks are breaking down the kitchen. All the other waiters have gone home. I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m exhausted and a post shift martini’s calling my name. The door...
by waiter | Apr 6, 2006 | Uncategorized
I’m in the kitchen struggling to whip up a skim milk cappuccino. I need a caffeine jolt. Normally I’d make cappuccino with whole milk. But since I’m watching my cholesterol I’ve been making adjustments great and small. I stare glumly at the limpid froth in the...
by waiter | Apr 2, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Saturday night. The first round of tables is seated and eating. That means there’s a lull until the dessert madness begins. Everyone takes a breather. I’m standing by the beverage dispenser hydrating myself with club soda. Saskia, one of the new busgirls, comes...
by waiter | Mar 31, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s one o’clock and I’m covering a lunch shift for a sick waiter. The Bistro’s empty. As I’m gazing out the front window, carefully evaluating the spandex covered derriere of a passing jogger babe, the front door chimes. Damn, always when I’m busy. I walk over to the...
by waiter | Mar 29, 2006 | Uncategorized
This piece about Waiter Rant was in today’s Chicago Tribune. Enjoy! What your waiter is saying about you By Jessica Berthold Tribune Newspapers: The Morning Call Published March 29, 2006 Waiter Rant (waiterrant.net) reads like a sitcom script about life in a busy New...
by waiter | Mar 25, 2006 | Uncategorized
Table 26 finishes their meal and signals for the check. “I’ll pay for dinner,” the man says, taking the checkbook out of my hand. “No, ” his date protests, “Let’s split it.” “I’ve got it.”...
by waiter | Mar 24, 2006 | Uncategorized
The phone rings. “The Bistro,” I answer, “How may I help you?” “Hello, Waiter?” a familiar voice says. “Yes?” “This is Rafael, the Maitre’D at Cafe Really Expensive.” “Hey Rafael,” I reply, “How’s things?” “Slow.” “I hear ya.” “Listen,” Rafael says, “You’ve got a...
by waiter | Mar 20, 2006 | Uncategorized
I’m waiting in line at the health food store as the Hippie Matron in front of me tortures the guy behind the counter. “Can I have a sample of the wheat grass juice with ginger?” she asks “I’m sorry,” the counterman replies, “But I can’t give out samples right now.”...
by waiter | Mar 17, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s a beautiful warm Saturday night and the Bistro’s packed. The balmy temps must’ve have thawed the Yuppies out of hibernation. We’ve got an impatient line stretching out the door. I’m making money hand over fist. Of course, something has to go wrong. I’m placing an...
by waiter | Mar 14, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Sunday night. Fluvio went to AC so I’m in charge. The reservation computer tells me we’re gonna be slammed. The Bistro will reach 80% capacity in one hour. That’s the problem with Sunday night. Everyone eats dinner at the same time. I...
