by waiter | May 10, 2006 | Uncategorized
Melinda’s our new hostess. She’s in her early twenties and trying to pick up a little extra cash. I feel bad for her. There are easier ways. Drug dealing and prostitution come readily to mind. Oh well. “So how are things?” I ask her. “Oh, everyone here’s really nice,”...
by waiter | May 5, 2006 | Uncategorized
“Is all your pasta homemade?” my customer, an obvious foodie type, asks. “No sir,” I reply truthfully, “Some, not all.” “What’s homemade?” the man asks with a trace of exasperation, “I only eat homemade pasta.” I want to tell my customer he’s been infected with...
by waiter | May 3, 2006 | Uncategorized
The Bistro’s phone rings. I glare at it. I should pick it up by the third ring but I don’t. I hate the phone today. I’m at the end of my workweek and my reservoir of patience is depleted. If I have to deal with one more socially maladjusted misfit I’ll be forced to...
by waiter | Apr 26, 2006 | Uncategorized
I was interviewed by Luke O’Neil for a recent article about the travails of being a waiter for the website Boston’s Weekly Dig. “It begins with the best of intentions. Head out. A bite to eat. A few drinks. But eating out is actually much more complex than that, and...
by waiter | Apr 26, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s a seven o’clock on beautiful Monday night. The Bistro’s half full and we only have a few reservations. But, after being driven indoors by a rainy weekend, the Yuppies will probably want to bust out of their Williams Sonomanized cocoons so they can narcotize the...
by waiter | Apr 22, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s Friday afternoon and the Bistro’s dead. I’m outside catching some sun. I read somewhere that you need fifteen minutes of solar exposure to get your recommended daily allowance of Vitamin D. Without enough you run the risk of developing everything from...
by waiter | Apr 18, 2006 | Uncategorized
The young couple on table 26 is finishing dessert. They’re on what I think’s a first date. Things seem to be going well. The girl’s never taken her eyes off the guy. Her body language suggests she’s really into him. The guy’s body language suggests he can’t wait to...
by waiter | Apr 12, 2006 | Uncategorized
Louis and I are lounging by the front window reading newspapers and drinking espresso. It’s early and we’re not expecting customers for an hour. While Louis skims the Daily News I leaf through the NY Post. I’ve been giving The Times a rest lately. Oh, don’t get me...
by waiter | Apr 10, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s closing time. The restaurant’s almost empty. My last table’s paying the bill. The cooks are breaking down the kitchen. All the other waiters have gone home. I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m exhausted and a post shift martini’s calling my name. The door...
by waiter | Apr 6, 2006 | Uncategorized
I’m in the kitchen struggling to whip up a skim milk cappuccino. I need a caffeine jolt. Normally I’d make cappuccino with whole milk. But since I’m watching my cholesterol I’ve been making adjustments great and small. I stare glumly at the limpid froth in the...
