by waiter | Mar 13, 2012 | Uncategorized
(I wrote this for giggles a while back. Not a very serious work, but I hope you enjoy it.) In my twenty years as both a cop and private investigator I’ve been asked to find a lot of things in New Jersey: murderers, rapists, thieves, drugs, stolen cars, putrefying body...
by waiter | Mar 11, 2012 | Uncategorized
I had just been hired to follow a guy. Funny thing was, I had no know idea why I was being hired to follow him. The guy paying me just said, “Keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.” “What kind of trouble?” “You’ll know it when you...
by waiter | Feb 14, 2012 | Uncategorized
Two weeks ago my dog Buster became unable to jump on the couch. Buster lives on the couch so I found this development mildly worrisome. At nine years old he has some arthritis and is not a limber as he still thinks he is. Then a few days later his back legs gave out...
by waiter | Feb 13, 2012 | Uncategorized
My girlfriend loves estate sales. Every weekend for the past couple of months, she’s been hunting for bargains in what I call “dead old lady houses,” usually with me in tow. The irony that I’m engaging in a Yuppie activity akin to antiquing is not lost on me. My...
by waiter | Jan 5, 2012 | Uncategorized
Hi everybody. I’ll be on CNBC tonight. The program is titled, “Customer Disservice” and it will air at 9pm ET/8pm CT. Tune in!
by waiter | Dec 24, 2011 | Uncategorized
Hey everybody: Sorry I’ve been away so long. Let’s just say my life is unfolding nicely and I’ve been very busy. I’m enjoying the holidays with my fantastic and lovely girlfriend, so I’m just fine. May you all have a Happy (Insert...
by waiter | Oct 21, 2011 | Uncategorized
I’m a New Jerseyan and proud of it. Here’s why! 1. Because we have the most diners in the world, you can always get something to soak up the booze at 3:00 AM. 2. The Jersey accent makes you sound tough, even if you aren’t. 3. You’re usually only three...
by waiter | Oct 20, 2011 | Uncategorized
This morning I read an article in the New York Times that really upset me. Titled, “My Shrink is my Co-Author” the author, Susan Shapiro, describes the ups and downs of writing a book with her longtime psychotherapist “Dr. W.” The good doctor, it seems, is an expert...
by waiter | Oct 18, 2011 | Uncategorized
It turns out the story about 25% tips in San Fransisco was made up! But even though the story was bogus, it generated a lot of controversy. Such is the power of tipping!
by waiter | Oct 17, 2011 | Uncategorized
The subject of tipping sells papers. The mere mention of gratuities – whether it’s about how to, why or who should get them – elicits passionate responses from both Che Guevara t-shirt wearing income redistribution guerillas and “Fuck the poor” Ayn Randian lunatics...
