by waiter | Apr 29, 2019 | Uncategorized
I was sitting in the dentist’s chair waiting to get my tooth filled when one of the dental techs hurried into the room. “There was a stabbing at the deli!” she said. “What?” the dentist said. “When?” “A few minutes ago. A woman was stabbed eleven times. Three times in...
by waiter | Apr 23, 2019 | Uncategorized
I was waiting in an exam room in my cardiologist’s office, watching the clock. My appointment was for 5:40. It was now 6:45. “He’ll be just a minute,” an assistant said, poking her head into the room. “Hang in there.” “If I’m the lowest priority in the...
by waiter | Apr 8, 2019 | Uncategorized
My nephew was deathly afraid of flying. Every time his parents suggested they go on a trip involving airline travel he’d freak out – convinced he’d perish in a 30,000 foot uncontrolled descent. I figured he grow out of this phobia – but then my parents...
by waiter | Apr 4, 2019 | Uncategorized
A couple of days ago I was watching a science program about the end of the universe. It was kind of depressing. 1,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000, 0000000000,0000000000, 0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000...
by waiter | Apr 1, 2019 | Uncategorized
A while back I realized I needed to sort some things out and started seeing a therapist about once a month. Last week I was early for my appointment so I sat in my car and enjoyed a blueberry scone with a cup of coffee. As I was listening to the radio a loud scraping...
by waiter | Mar 30, 2019 | Uncategorized
When I got home from work yesterday the newest addition to my pocketknife collection was waiting in my mailbox. Like a kid on Christmas I slid the new knife out of its packaging and flicked it open. “Nice,” I said, feeling the razor sharp edge. “Very nice.” Then I...
by waiter | Mar 8, 2019 | Uncategorized
Just before my beloved dog Buster died I found out we had mice. Late in the evening, I was keeping vigil over Buster when I heard a scuttling sound in kitchen. When I looked up a brown mouse shot across the kitchen floor and dove underneath the stove. Just great....
by waiter | Mar 8, 2019 | Uncategorized
When the cable installer rigged up my new television service a few days ago he had to open up the drop ceiling in my basement to install some new wiring. But when he pushed up the ceiling tile a small surprise was waiting for him. Two empty beer cans fell on his head....
by waiter | Mar 5, 2019 | Uncategorized
A few weeks ago I got sick of my cable company’s usurious fees, terrible customer service, out of date equipment, degrading internet speed and them being assholes in general. So I canceled, signed up with one of their competitors, and arranged an installation date. I...
by waiter | Feb 9, 2019 | Uncategorized
Django used to hang out with my dog “Buster” at the dog park. A very cute pooch. His owner is having trouble paying his vet bills. Any help you can give him would be most appreciated. The GoFundMe link is here, Thank you.
