by waiter | Apr 15, 2008 | Uncategorized
“No dessert Waiter,” the man on Table 32 says, reaching for his wallet. “Just bring us the check.” “Perhaps some coffee, tea, or cappuccino?” I ask, trying to add another dollar to my tip. “No thanks,” the man’s wife says. “We’ve got to get over to our accountant’s...
by waiter | Apr 14, 2008 | Uncategorized
It’s Saturday night and Café Machiavelli is packed. There are so many customers in the dining room that the mass of their collective bodies forms a swirling vortex of need and want, collapsing perspective and time into an emotional black hole. As I walk across the...
by waiter | Apr 11, 2008 | Uncategorized
I decided to dump my old hosting site and shack up with the good folks at Media Temple. While all the posts made the transition, the comments, sadly, did not. But they were getting lost or screwed up with all the “upgrades” during the past year anyway...
by waiter | Apr 9, 2008 | Uncategorized
Here’s the official cover for Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip – Confessions of a Cynical Waiter Thanks Anthony! You’re the man!
by waiter | Mar 27, 2008 | Uncategorized
It’s Thursday afternoon and I’m late for work. I’m running late because, consciously and unconsciously, I don’t want to work at Café Machiavelli today. The money’s been sucking, we’re understaffed, and I’m just sick of restaurants in general. Of course I forget...
by waiter | Mar 26, 2008 | Uncategorized
“So how you doing Chimo?” I ask during a lull in service. “I’m great, dude,” my Mexican-American comrade replies. “I got a deluxe blowjob last night.” “A deluxe blowjob?” I ask. “What’s that?” “Dude,” Chimo says, looking at me dumbfounded, “You...
