The Wages of Candy

by | Jun 2, 2008 | Uncategorized

It’s 9:00 AM and I’m sitting in the dentist’s chair. The news is not good. “It needs to be extracted,” the dentist says, pronouncing my molar’s death sentence. “Wow,” I reply. “That bad?” “Yes.” “You can’t fix it?” “You could get a root canal and a crown,” the dentist...

Flat Vacant Stare

by | May 24, 2008 | Uncategorized

It’s five o’clock on Friday night and I’m saddled with a trainee. I hate training new waiters, but having one shadowing me on a busy night is truly a pain in the ass. “So where did you work before you came here?” I ask the trainee as I brew myself an espresso. “The...

It’s National Waiters Day!

by | May 21, 2008 | Uncategorized

I didn’t even know we had a holiday! Damn! No one tells me anything! If you go out to eat today you have to tip 30%  (And pre-order my book.) So let it be written, so let it be done.

Kirkus Review

by | May 20, 2008 | Uncategorized

Here’s the Kirkus Review for my upcoming book! KIRKUS June 1, 2008 The Waiter WAITER RANT: Thanks for the Tip—Confessions of a Cynical Waiter A popular blogger offers behind-the-scenes tales about working the front of the house. After defecting from seminary and...

Keep Your Wits About You.

by | May 17, 2008 | Uncategorized

It’s 10:00 AM and I’m walking towards the modernish building that houses Café Machiavelli. As I get closer, a sinking feeling starts tickling my stomach. I recognize the sensation. I felt it whenever I didn’t want to go to school as a kid. For a moment I consider...