by waiter | Feb 10, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s my day off. I’m writing on my laptop when my dog bounds into my lap and starts licking my face. “What do you want now?” I ask. Buster looks at me, panting expectantly. “Dog park?” I ask. “You want to go play?” Buster emits a low growl. That’s “yes” in his...
by waiter | Feb 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
It’s a busy night. The hostess is in the bathroom so I’m covering the door. The door chimes. A man walks in. “Four,” he says, holding up exactly four fingers. How nice. “Do you have a reservation?” I ask politely. “No,” he grunts, “Do I need one?” “I’m afraid we’re...
by waiter | Feb 2, 2006 | Uncategorized
Beth and I are sitting by the front window drinking coffee and kibitzing. It’s early and we’re not expecting customers for an hour. Side work finished, the tables are arranged with military precision; uniformed in starchy crisp tablecloths and brocaded with newly...
by waiter | Feb 1, 2006 | Uncategorized
I conducted an informal poll to see what your favorite drink says about you. The sampling was very small and the margin for error is very large. If you see your favorite drink lampooned, spare me the hate mail. I get enough already. What Your Drink Says About You....
by waiter | Jan 30, 2006 | Uncategorized
Customers are always leaving business cards, religious tracts, and other sundry items in the checkbook or on the hostess stand. Usually too poor or desperate to afford a decent advertising budget, they resort to foisting their shit on me. Here are some of my...
by waiter | Jan 25, 2006 | Uncategorized
Are stories about waiters suddenly hip? I must’ve not gotten the memo. Imagine my surprise when I opened up the New York Times this morning to read that their vaunted food critic, Frank Bruni, stepped down from his critical perch, strapped on an apron, and indulged in...
