by waiter | Oct 8, 2017 | Uncategorized
A few days ago, I was talking to a co-worker who was about to become a new grandmother. “When’s the baby due?” I said. “My daughter’s due Sunday,” Leslie said. “But if the baby doesn’t come by then they’re going to induce on Monday.” “How’s your son-in-law?” “Good.”...
by waiter | Oct 5, 2017 | Uncategorized
I was calling a worker bee at government agency when I got this gem of a voicemail message, “I’m not available to take your call at this time, but if you leave your name, number and a brief message, I will call you back at my earliest convenience.” I hung up the phone...
by waiter | Sep 29, 2017 | Uncategorized
A few weeks ago I was in the pharmacy picking up a prescription for my wife. Trouble was, the pharmacist wouldn’t give it to me. “Can you spell her name again? he asked, holding a bottle of pills in his hand. My wife kept her last name when we got married. I spelled...
by waiter | Jul 17, 2017 | Uncategorized
My wife had a business meeting in Seattle and, having never been there myself, we decided to make it a mini-family vacation. After a tumultuous plane ride with a three-year-old, we landed in the birthplace of Starbucks. Annie didn’t wrap up work at the convention...
by waiter | May 21, 2017 | Uncategorized
My wife and I were packing the car and getting ready to leave our rented house off Hollywood Boulevard when a storm of howling profanity suddenly filled the air. Turning my head towards the noise, I spotted a disheveled man barreling straight towards us. Black, in...