Forbidden Fruit
A couple of days ago I was watching my old dog sleeping on his bed. In canine years, Buster must be well over a hundred. Blind and mostly deaf, he is no longer able to traverse the stairs and spends of most his time sleeping
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Prevailing Versus Winning
Last Saturday I was in a townie bar watching my wife do her standup comedy routine. I didn’t like the tavern at all. When I went to get a beer the bartender, who seemed overwhelmed by the simplest of orders, gave me $11 in change
The Title Belt
“Gee this is really fancy,” a parent said to me. “Yeah,” I said, surveying the hangar sized childrens’ museum where we were holding my daughter’s fourth birthday party. “When I was a kid my mom made a cake from the box and we played pin
Confounding Expectations
A couple of days ago I was watching a TV show called Lucifer. The premise is that Satan, bored of running Hell, decamps to Los Angeles and becomes a consultant for the LAPD. Of course, he’s a scoundrel, speaks with an English accent and runs
….Have No Name
As social services director for my town, the holidays are my busiest time of year. We hold a Thanksgiving food drive, an “Adopt a Family” program where we anonymously match up client needs’ lists with willing donors and run a toy drive. I start preparing
The Streets….
Many years ago, I was walking towards the entrance of the urban hospital where I worked and found a tremendous pool of blood on the sidewalk. After I got over the shock of finding such gore I noticed a blood trail and decided to follow
Tears in the Rain
After sitting for almost three hours in a movie theatre I needed to take a wicked leak. So, while the movie’s credits were still rolling, I gathered up my car keys, an empty gallon sized cup of Diet Coke, my cane and hobbled towards the
Tumescent
This is my favorite psych ward story….. At the tail end of a long shift, I was sitting in the nurses station when I heard a blood curdling scream. Leaping out of my chair, I raced into the hallway where I found one of the
Advice for New Fathers
A few days ago, I was talking to a co-worker who was about to become a new grandmother. “When’s the baby due?” I said. “My daughter’s due Sunday,” Leslie said. “But if the baby doesn’t come by then they’re going to induce on Monday.” “How’s
My Own Private Rapture
I was calling a worker bee at government agency when I got this gem of a voicemail message, “I’m not available to take your call at this time, but if you leave your name, number and a brief message, I will call you back at