Happy (Insert Appropriate Holiday Here)!

Well, I’m going to bed after a kick ass Italian Christmas Eve party. Now where in the world did I put my Alka-Seltzer? Man, don’t ever let me near anisette and anisette cookies again.

Merry Christmas everyone! And to my non-Christain, atheist, and agnostic readers – enjoy the movies and Chinese food! And if you go out to eat on the 25th – tip heavy.

23 thoughts on “Happy (Insert Appropriate Holiday Here)!”

  1. Aïda says:

    Merry Christmas to you Steve!

  2. savannah says:

    Merry Christmas, sugar! xox

  3. Jennifer says:

    Merry Christmas and Happy Festivus! 🙂

    PS You sounded fantastic on Morning Edition!!!

  4. Jim Moore says:

    Merry Christmas Steve! Just finished Keep The Change. Great book!!!

  5. Mikel says:

    Dear Steve:
    I´m spanish and i write you from Spain. My English is not very well.
    i bought your book yesterday and I read it. I like it very very much. Really i enjoy reading your adeventures in “The Brisco”.
    I wish you good luck in your next book. Please, continue writing. I will continue reading your histories in your blog.
    Thank you very much.
    I wich you merry Christmas from Bilbao in Spain

  6. joyce says:

    you will be so proud of us. Our favorite waitress got a $20 tip on our $30 meal at Cracker Barrel on Christmas Eve.

    What/who is open on Christmas Day? I smoked up the house cooking a prime rib. ha

  7. The IT Guy says:

    I went to dinner at my parents, but in place of a tip i made everyone french martini’s all night (which has become a bit of a christmas tradition for us). Merry Christmas Steve!

  8. Bob Dobbs says:

    Merry Christmas to you, too. And if you can resist anisette cookies, you’re a better man than I am 🙂

  9. joeinvegas says:

    Merry Christmas!

  10. SeanK says:

    I believe the appropriate antacid after an “Italian” feast would be Brioschi. No New York Italian would be caught dead with Alka-Seltzer in the kitchen cabinet.

  11. Andrew says:


    I got “Keep The Change” for Christmas, and I’m really enjoying it. I’m almost done with it, and its only been two days! Merry Christmas!

  12. Anonymous says:

    Me, too – I got “Keep the Change” from my partner for Xmas! Very excited about reading it.

    Merry Christmas, Steve – glad to hear you enjoyed yourself.

  13. Laura says:

    As a life-long server who has worked too many Christmas Eve and Christmas Holidays to count, I can honestly say that this year some really good tippers came out to the Olive Garden that I work for. I was surprised that even the most stero-typical “bad tippers” out there were quite generous! I just hope they all bring their gift cards back for New Years, which is typically another “amature night”!
    Merry Christmas, Steve. I am enjoying Keep the Change (which I bought MYSELF for xMas!) as much as Waiter Rant!

  14. Fish says:

    Happy Holidays Steve! Thank you over and over again for all excellent story writing. My son is a waiter/bartender and I learned early on from him that tipping less than 20% is just downright rude and that it should be doubled at holiday times.

  15. BJ says:

    Steve, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Finished your first book during the holidays of Christmas and now I have my older sister reading it. We spent Christmas in New Orleans and were routinely eating out, especially on Christmas. I always made it a point to help out our waitresses. Thanks!

  16. James says:

    Merry Christmas!

    I’m sorry I don’t believe in tips so there.

  17. Emily says:


    Thank you for “Waiter Rant.” I have never waited tables, but I completely identify with everything you wrote in a way that I could only describe in my own book, or a ridiculously long letter to you that you probably wouldn’t read. Suffice it to say that you have spoken to millions of people in similar professions and/or similar life situations.

    I never read your blog. My mom gave me “Waiter Rant” for Christmas and I read it in under 36 hours. I’m thoroughly enjoying reading through the archives of your blog, starting from April 2004.

    Happy holidays, and thank you for being possibly the most refreshing voice I’ve heard (aside from Anthony Bourdain, who I only recently discovered since I have cable for the first time ever) in years. Your book was the best gift I received for Christmas, and I’m passing it back to my mother because she’ll appreciate it equally.

  18. Artemis says:

    Happy Holidays! Celebrate many and all, or one or two as you choose.

    I just bought your book and what I’ve read so far is awesome.

    I’m one of those people you’d probably worry about, because I complement the servers and waitstaff — but in my case when I do so, they get close to a 20% tip. I also do this if I eat at a diner, where the meals average about 8-15 dollars, because I know the waitstaff depends on this. And for an $8 meal, they work as hard as someone serving out a $60 meal.

  19. Paulo says:

    Was reading through your new book and couldn’t help but notice that despite you even getting IN to a cab on multiple times throughout the book, not once did you talk about how much to tip a cab-driver! Ai caramba!

    Oh yes I did! Look at the second to last chapter!

  20. Monica says:

    Just finished your book Waiter Rant.I have already told a lot of the servers that I work with that this is a must read. Very good book. I look forward to reading Keep The Change.

  21. Stephq says:

    About 15 years ago, I was a waiter for at least a dozen years. I’ve been out of it for a long time but your book brings it all back to me in technicolor. I’ve been savouring your book and have just finished Chapter 14.
    Not that I’m at all qualified but – you are an awesome writer. Your turns of phrase are beautiful. I really, REALLY hope you have a few more books in you.
    Thanks for a great read.

  22. Vince says:

    I’ve never been a waiter, but I’ve worked in the wine/liquor business, during holiday seasons, and in the industry, it’s called “Holiday Madness.” For it is at this time particularly, that the sociopaths come out from hiding, to spread stress on all. Can you imagine someone buying three cases of assorted wines, then demanding they they be boxed by color and region . . . while a long line of others waits to be served? Or the first customer of the day who offers a $100 bill, to pay for a $4.99 6-pack? Waiters and wine/liquor cashiers have much in common. . .

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