Yearly Archives: 2010

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Happy (Insert Appropriate Holiday Here)!

Well, I’m going to bed after a kick ass Italian Christmas Eve party. Now where in the world did I put my Alka-Seltzer? Man, don’t ever let me near anisette and anisette cookies again. Merry Christmas everyone! And to my non-Christain, atheist, and agnostic readers

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Get a Real Job!

Over my many years writing about people who depend on gratuities aggrieved people, usually skinflints, have written in to tell me that if tipped workers don’t like the money they’re making they should endeavor to make alternate employment arrangements. But what really struck me as

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Doorman Tip Redux

I’m sitting in the cigar shop again, basking in my post Today Show glory when Philo comes in to pick up a smoke on his way to work. “I got a six hundred dollar tip today,” he crows. “That’s great I say. “Congrats.” “That shit

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Losing it

If you’re like me, you were horrified to watch that video of Clay Duke shooting up a school board meeting in Panama City, Florida. Ranting incoherently, Mr. Duke was shot by a security guard and then took his own life. Luckily no innocent people were

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The Today Show

Hey everybody. Sorry I’ve been away so long. Been busy. And I’m going to be talking to Matt Lauer on The Today Show tomorrow morning! Tune in around 8:30. Happy Holidays!

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Don’t be a Scrooge

I’m sitting in my cigar shop puffing on a Maduro when Philo, a doorman who works in an exclusive Upper West Side building, walks in. “Hey Philo,” I say. “How are the Christmas tips going?” “Jesus Christ,” he says. “The tenants are already starting to

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Where’s My Bacon?

I’m at a McCormick and Schmick’s restaurant with a date. As we peruse the cocktail menu I see a drink that almost gives me an orgasm – a dirty Grey Goose martini with olives stuffed with blue cheese and bacon. “I’m so getting that,” I

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Labyrinth

I’m standing in the middle of a corn maze in Chester, New Jersey and I’m pissed. “I hope you’re happy,” I say to my friend Alicia. “We’re lost.” “What’s the point of going to a corn maze if you don’t get lost?” she says. “That’s

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Additional Book Tour Dates

I’ll also be at these places! Wednesday, November 17th Barnes & Noble at Boston University Bookstore 660 Beacon Street Boston, Massachusetts 7:00 PM Monday, November 22nd RJ Julia Booksellers 768 Boston Post Rd. Madison, Connecticut 7:00 PM