43 thoughts on “No Man’s Land”

  1. Mike says:


  2. mimi says:

    Aw, thanks for the plug and for pointing out the book was out as I had no idea! Hope you enjoy it! Can’t wait to read yours! xx

  3. nr says:

    Congrats Mimi! Maybe if I stay and read a while it will rub off 😉 lol

  4. Misty Massey says:

    Congrats, Mimi! Good luck!

    Well, I’m not on your blogroll but I’m a longtime reader with her first book out – it’s a pirate fantasy, Mad Kestrel, from Tor Books. 😀

  5. fourofsix2003 says:

    Gaby!! where in hell have you been young lady??HMMMMM?

  6. Dr. Electro says:

    Congratulations, Mimi. Hope it sells well. I’m writing my experiences while I was in a coma for six weeks. Not even close to finishing yet but still plugging away.

  7. jay says:

    Not to question, but how do you write about being in a coma? What’s it going to be about?

  8. stu says:

    my thoughts exactly , how does one write about a coma………..unless you remember being in a coma, is that possible?

  9. Chris says:

    3 if you count Bourdain

  10. Miss B says:

    I know it’s unrelated and off topic but I wanted to get a chance to try and tell Waiter that because of your blog I now make sure to tip at LEAST 15% on every meal (and that’s only for lousy service) and have been know to tip up to 40%. I’ve truly been converted, before I was a “give ’em some change” type girl.
    Thanks Waiter 🙂

  11. Bill says:

    on the coma book it will contain 8 chapters. The first before the coma, the last after the coma and then 6 chapters of blank pages. it’s a novel idea. LOL

  12. Lyla Lou says:

    Yay, thanks for the heads up on the book! Can’t wait for yours, and I’ve been procrastinating, but I promise I will buy it online BEFORE it comes out.

    I hope barmaid comes out with a book.

  13. cat says:

    I have a question I can’t seem to get answered, so I thought I would ask the expert.

    I just recently discovered that my favorite national sea food chain knowingly employs convicted felons as wait persons. The one I know about has a felony forgery conviction, a felony theft conviction and a misdemeanor shoplifting conviction.

    When asked how this chain protects its customers credit card numbers from this type of employee, all I got was a run around.

    So, to my question. How easy is it for a wait person who leaves the table with a customers credit card to swipe the information, and what can an unsuspecting customer do to protect themselves?

  14. Lexi says:

    I think a cambridge educated author could pick a more meaningful topic than what goes on in a strip joint. First you made money in the industry, and now trying to make money writing about that experience. If women would have enough self respect to refuse to treat their bodies like objects this industry and others would cease to exist.

  15. Clean Simple says:

    I just put it on hold at the library (can’t afford to buy a lot of books these days…).

    My writer’s group meets at a local diner. I often just get a cup of tea (endless hot water refills) and I always tip 100%.

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  17. Elste says:

    I write textbooks…does that count? I bet her book’s a lot more interesting!

  18. Ava says:

    I don’t really want to write anything, but can I be invited to the book parties?

  19. Kum Hurray says:

    Hi, my name is Kum Hurray, I do everything fast, that why they call me Kum Hurray. Stripper write book with no pictures, I no buy! That all, thanks!

  20. Lion says:

    I’ve written a novel, but almost impossible to get it in to a publisher. Anyone got any tips on how to get this story out to the world? All the people who have read it tell me it is a good, and original, story…

  21. Just Jo says:

    Being in a coma is soooo not fun, being cognitively aware of everything thats around you and whats happening TO YOU and not being able to move, scream or cry really really blows. I been there. I done that. I hated it.

    Congrats to all you writers, published and Un, You do what I only think about doing….

  22. mgapanghitabo says:

    thats a scary situation, you know.

  23. pylorns says:

    Wonder why it took so long for me to come across your site. We’ll I’ve blogrolled you now.

  24. Cisco says:

    Power to all of you who get a book deal out of blogging…

  25. tutl says:

    Hey, waiter, did you take the photo?

    How long did you have to wait for a redhead with a nice butt?


  26. OneLinerFan says:

    “Hi, my name is Kum Hurray, I do everything fast, that why they call me Kum Hurray. Stripper write book with no pictures, I no buy! That all, thanks!”

    Thanks for the laugh 🙂

  27. Laura says:

    I wish you would blog more often.

  28. Bodacia says:

    At least 15% for a tip?

    The DH has been a server for 17+ years, mainly 5 star these days. I was in Miami for business, took out some clients for dinner, paid my bill and tipped, but had a feeling I hadn’t left enough. (Did I mention that I’m lousy at math, BTW?) Called DH at work and told him the check total and what I left as a tip.

    He was at the local ‘Server’s Bar’ with one of his buddies. I still remember his friend Jan screaming in the background “ALWAYS ROUND UP AND MULTIPY BY TWO!!!!” Needless to say, I promptly found an ATM and withdrew the appropriate amount of cash and headed right on back to the restaurant.

  29. Bodacia says:

    Oh yeah – it’s been drilled into my head that 20% is the minimum you leave for a tip. Everytime I pay a check I can hear Jan’s voice in the background. Then I think about deep fried turkey. Jan can fry a mean turkey…..

  30. Brigette says:

    I have a random owner from hell story for you. I’m a hostess at a pancake house. The owner’s parents often come in when he can’t. They also like to eat with their friends during the day. Today, they tied up enough seats for ten people. During the lunch rush. For at least two hours. Most of the time, they were just chatting. They’d finished eating and everything. *Wordless noise of frustration*

  31. Naughty Secretary says:

    Well, Mr Waiter, it is a good thing I am not included on your blogroll…or else I fear my plans for publishing would be thrown into high gear.

    I’m not sure my words would be suitable anyway, unless of course filed under the “dessert” category.

    I’ve been reading for a good while now…I enjoy your blog thoroughly. Well, the vanilla part of me does anyway… 😉

  32. Bob Dobbs says:

    Two weeks since the last post of substance, and that one a contemplation on leaving the industry? A month before the book comes out?

    I would place a small wager that the Waiter has moved on again. Could well be wrong, but the odds are good. Maybe he crossed the “a” out of his name and inserted an “r” in its place?

  33. A. Fan says:

    Dear Waiter,

    I saw this in the foodie reviews over at NYTimes online. “you really feel like your in southern region of Italy…” caught my eye and reminded me of a fabulous grammarian-blogger who would have never made such a error whilst describing ANYTHING! Good luck with the book!

    February 8th, 20078:53 pm

    For anyone who has been to Italy and fell in love with the food and atmosphere must try Re Sette (45th between 5th and 6th avenue). My husband and I absolutely loved everything! The place is so beautiful, you really feel like your in the southern region of Italy. The food was exceptional everything from the fish(soo fresh) to the dessert (the tiramisu was the best I have ever had!)

    AN ABSOLUTE MUST!- Veronica

  34. nanako says:

    Gee…it’s been more than 2 weeks already.

    Did Waiter quit?

  35. jeff says:

    Although I’m not on your blog roll, I’m an avid reader, and have included you on my blogroll since the inception of my blog.

    My book will be out sometime in mid-September.


  36. Mahesh says:

    Hi waiter, came across your site by accident.
    Having only been to America the once I’m amazed by the things you guys get away with. 20% of a bill! No way any indian would pay that.
    Here in India waiters are silent and never get tips even in the fanciest 5 star restaurants.
    If they tried even half the shit you pull they would have been beaten almost to death and thrown out and fresh meat hired.
    Its only after seeing your blog that ive started tipping even in india, it makes me smile to see the expression on their faces.

  37. Jake says:

    With all these bloggers coming out with books, it makes me want to write one even more!

    Now only if I was a better writer 😛

    Btw, I’m Jake and I was suggested to your blog by Che Bello 🙂

  38. Deaks says:

    For what’s worth.

    Having read this blog, and others, I automatically tip 20% whenever I visit New York. Quality of service is not a factor, nor is quality of food.*

    Slightly off-topic. Was in NYC last week for my dad’s birthday. Big meal, excellent food, brilliant waitstaff.**

    He tipped generously and only realised hours later that there was a built-in gratuity.

    We had a laugh over that.

    Still definitely worth the price.

    *if either falls below standard, I just don’t go back.

    ** I’ve never before met a waitress who could describe every meal, make recommendations, and take orders for five people without a notepad. We only realised after dinner what she had managed. V. impressed.

    As a Londoner, can I say that NYC has a special place in my heart. You have a good city over there.

  39. Bad Home Cook says:

    Hearty, back-slapping congrats on the book and its numerous foreign edition sales (those add up nicely, don’t they?) I will buy it pronto, and at full price, so you earn out faster.

  40. Jewbacchus says:

    I love your blog. Your writing is tight, concise and witty. Your entries have an actual story arc, and actual tension to them (the vicarious joy I experience when Willem does something stupid is half the reason I read). To repeat: I love it.

    My one complaint is the blog’s layout. It seems built to be read chronologically backwards. The newest entry is at the top while the oldest is at the bottom, so if I want to read a large chunk of your blog at once I have to read it in a chronological zig-zag. Each entry is read top down, but the progression is from the bottom of the page up.

    I know it seems like a relatively minor complaint, but from a design/layout perspective it’s a little frustrating.

    Anyway, thanks so much for the entertainment, and my sincere apologies for sounding like a such a little shit about this. If I can’t be like this on the internet, then where?

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  42. Peyton says:


  43. Степан Кузнецов says:

    Вполне возможно. Иногда так действительно случается.

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