Monthly Archives: February 2008

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Sex & Calamari

It’s 9:00 PM on a slow Wednesday night. The only customers in the restaurant are a stuck-up looking couple who’ve made it clear they “don’t want to be rushed.” As they chatter and slowly munch their grilled calamari, their entrées are desiccating under a heat

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Source Municipal

It’s Friday night and I’m finishing the wine liturgy for the Yuppies on table 13. The host, a pretentious bald man wearing expensively layered clothes, grilled me about the wine list. Asking questions designed not to gain knowledge but to showcase his knowledge of oenology,

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I’ll Take Care of You

Another busy Saturday night at Café Machiavelli is finally winding down. My biggest table of the evening, a clamorous Italian familia of twenty people, are finishing their desserts. “You drop the check on that table yet?” Willem, the manager, asks me. “Not yet.” “Give it

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Shoot Them All

It’s been raining heavily all night. Because our wimpy customers are afraid of a little moisture, Café Machiavelli’s been experiencing an abnormally slow Friday night. It’s almost nine o’clock and I haven’t even cleared a hundred bucks. “Oh man,” Paolo, the executive chef, says, surveying