Monthly Archives: January 2008

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2008 Bloggies!

I was thrilled to hear that Waiter Rant has been nominated for Best Writing of a Weblog at the 2008 Bloggie Awards for the second year in a row. Congratulations to all bloggers nominated for an award and many thanks to all the people who

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Haggle

“What was the steak special again?” the birdish uptight lady on table twelve asks. “It’s a sixteen ounce ribeye steak in a cognac peppercorn cream sauce,” I reply. “Can I get the steak without the sauce?” “Of course Madam.” “And how much is the ribeye?”

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Kingdom of Sand

It’s the tail end of the lunch shift and Café Machiavelli is empty. Josie, the assistant manager, and I are both working double shifts. Taking advantage of the lull in customer traffic we decide to caffeinate our blood streams with several double espressos. Some waiters

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Cut

It’s Wednesday afternoon and I show up to work early. I want to get my prep work out of the way so I can enjoy some quiet time before the customers arrive. During the holiday rush I was taking tables eight seconds after I walked

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Laughing Gas

The silver haired gentleman on table 37 is celebrating his fiftieth birthday. His wife, possessing a funereal sense of humor, has decorated the eight top with black helium balloons, black streamers, and a black tablecloth. As I’m trying to take the dessert order the birthday