Monthly Archives: December 2007

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So This Is Christmas

It’s Christmas Eve and Café Machiavelli is bursting at the seams. Since we’re overbooked the wait time to be seated has crept past the half hour mark. Several customers, upset with the delay, have stormed out in frustration. Christmas cheer is in short supply. The

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Happy Holidays!

Somehow I survived Christmas Eve at Café Machiavelli. What an experience! The kitchen crashed, babies cried, customers complained, several people walked out, and Santa valiantly tried to save the day. When I woke up this morning I thought my feet belonged to someone else. That’s

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Behavioral Mod

Its 4:30 and I get sat my first customers of the day – a young couple with a screaming, kicking, red faced, snot dripping three year old boy. I take a deep calming breath, flick on my waiter smile, and head over to the table.

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Leave Home Without It

The quartet of chattering yuppies on table 24 have finished dessert and ask for their check. They’ve been running me ragged all night with special requests, menu substitutions, and water refills for glasses three quarters full. I’m glad they’re leaving. “Here you are, sir,” I

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Definitions

I came across these definitions in at Urban Dictionary today. Thanks “angryboy!” Waiter Gods Waiter Gods are the all knowing, unseen entities who control the ebb and flow of the great tip continuum. They are mysterious and unknowable, but their wrath can be swift, cruel,

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Waiter Legs

I walk into my gym at 9:00 AM on a cold Sunday morning. It’s an ungodly hour for a waiter to be awake, but after returning to the restaurant life I promised myself I wouldn’t backslide into bad habits like sleeping until noon, skipping breakfast,

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Investments

“And last but not least,” I say, wrapping up my recitation of the specials to the party on Table 34, “We have a seafood paella with lobster, shrimp, chorizo sausage, scallops, artichokes, bacon and saffron Arborio rice.” “How do you remember all those specials?” a