Monthly Archives: June 2007

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The Great Dane

“I’m gonna kill him.” “Take a breath,” I reply. “Calm down.” “I’m gonna kill his entire family,” the big man sputters. “And after I kill him I’m gonna strangle his children and rape his mother.” The man’s words push against me like an angry wave.

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Ask the Waiter – Tell Tale Signs

Waiter, I have been reading your blog for quite a while and really enjoy your stories… My question is: What are the tell-tales for a bad restaurant vs. a good one? What kinds of things signal that this may be a $100 a plate establishment

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Ask the Waiter – Foreigners!

Dear Waiter If someone with a foreign accent forgets to tip, do most waitstaff realize that tipping isn’t a universal practice outside the US and forgive them, or do they get angry about it? Trust me, we get angry about it. This is how we

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How to Score with a Waitress

This is the first “guest blogger” to be published on Waiter Rant. If all goes well and the submissions are good, I’ll publish one a week. Enjoy! How to Score with a Waitress – Ella Lawrence I was asked out by my last table at

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Update

As some of you might’ve already guessed, I quit my restaurant job. To protect my anonymity I’ll just say I quit before Mother’s Day. To reveal any other time details might risk exposing me and the restaurant I was working for. And to answer the

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Ask The Waiter Begins!

Hello waiter: One of my pet peeves is feeling rushed by too-fast service. I frequently dine out alone, usually at “off” hours when there’s no rush to turn tables, no wait list, etc. (I wouldn’t dream of tying up a table at such times). Typically,

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Ask the Waiter

Since Waiter Rant started three years ago, I’ve fielded thousands of querys from the dining public. Questions like “What’s an appropriate tip for takeout?” “Should I stack my plates to assist the bus boy with cleaning the table?” “Is it cool to snort coke in

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Eating Standing Up

“Service Compris” is an article in this Sunday’s New York Times Magazine about the humble staff meal, as interpreted by the chefs at Per Se, the famous Thomas Keller eatery located in the Time Warner Center. The author, Randy Kennedy, tells us that the employee

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Froo Froo Menu Generator

I thought this guy’s website was hilarious. The Breaded Reptile with a Whipped Grits sounded great. I’m sure some NYC chef desperate for inspiration will cycle through this thing ad infinitum. Check it out.

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We’ll Always Have Paris

I’m sitting at a bar drinking a pint of beer. The bar’s around the corner from my house. It has decent food and cute waitresses. Talk about convenient. The outside tables are crowded with people getting drunk and smoking cigarettes. I notice many of the