Monthly Archives: January 2007

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Cutting In Line

If you’ve read my blog you know I hate customers who call at 7 on Saturday night and demand the best table in the house to be readied for them by 8. Not only are these people suffering from delusions of grandeur, they forget the

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Thank You!

I would like to thank everyone who nominated Waiter Rant for consideration in the 2007 Bloggie Awards. I was selected as one of five finalists for Best Writing of a Weblog. I would like to extend my congratulations to the other four finalists and to

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Our Lady of Fifth Avenue

I have a morning meeting with my publisher. I don’t want to be late so I leave home early. I shouldn’t have worried. Every subway I need to get over to East 53rd Street pulls up to the platform the moment I arrive. As I

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It’s Scary Out There

Ring. Ring. “Cacciatores Risotorante,” a perky female voice answers. “How may I help you?” “Good afternoon,” I say. “I was wondering if you were looking for wait staff.” “I’m so sorry,” the girl says automatically, without the faintest trace of sorrow in her voice. “Our

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We Don’t Need No Stinking Soda!

“May I get you something to drink?” I ask the teetering octogenarian on table 17. “Gimme a soda with no ice,” the old woman snaps. “Of course madam,” I reply. “And I want ice on the side,” she screeches. Not so loud Grandma. Turn up

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Amanda 7

My father and I are eating lunch at a TGI Fridays. It just happens to be Friday afternoon. We’re sitting next to a plate glass window fronting a busy highway. Outside the roads are already thickening with commuters. My father’s eating chicken while I nibble

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Rio

I’m standing on an outdoor patio overlooking the city of Rio de Janeiro. A cool evening breeze blows in from the South Atlantic, carrying away some of the city’s heat and leavening the metropolis with the scent of the sea. Below me the beach of

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Sunday Night

It’s Sunday night. I make myself a quick supper of pan seared tuna, rice, and green beans. After I eat and clean the dishes I fix myself a light vodka and tonic and head into the living room. I pull a book off the bookshelf

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Priceless

I thought this cartoon was priceless. Many thanks to gapingvoid.com and the reader who sent the link to me. I also have a MySpace account. What the hell it’s for is beyond me.