Monthly Archives: November 2006

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Sorry!

Hi everybody. I’m sorry Waiter Rant’s such a mess. The old software that previously ran the site was getting buggy and had to be replaced. Unfortunately, a whole host of other problems emerged during the switch. The web team over at SoundQue is diligently working

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Politicians

“Congratulations Assemblyman,” I say to the newly elected member of the Legislature. “Thanks,” the politician says. “Did you vote for me?” “I’m not in your district,” I reply. The Assemblyman laughs. A regular customer, he’s been coming to The Bistro for years. I like him.

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A Little Bit of Kink

“Can you explain fetishes to me?” Georgie, our Sunday hostess asks me. This isn’t a question I field everyday. “Why are you asking?” I reply. “You majored in psych didn’t you?” “I did.” “I’m taking abnormal psych now, Georgie explains. “And we’ve just gotten to

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Twenty Year Payback

The hostess escorts a young couple to my section. As they walk to their table I notice they’re looking around nervously, like they’re out of their element. Maybe the Bistro’s the first fancy restaurant they’ve ever gone to. I sigh inwardly. Experience tells me I’m

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Dignity

It’s 2:00 AM. I’m standing in line at a convenience store holding a half gallon of milk.� The stores part of a national chain. I don’t much care for it but it’s on the way home. A young guy and his girlfriend wait anxiously in

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The High Cost of Free Stuff

It’s Thursday night and I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed that a pharmaceutical company reserved a back table for twelve people at seven o’clock. I’m annoyed because the pharmacy rep is a snooty power-pantsuited bitch. I’m annoyed that she’s transformed the back of my restaurant into an

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Gun Shy

I’m at the dog park with Buster, my joint custody pooch, trying to explain what joint custody poochdom means to the cute brunette with the words “Juicy” stenciled across her ass, when a black Mercedes suddenly comes screeching into the parking lot. A man in