Monthly Archives: March 2006

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Lunching Ladies

It’s one o’clock and I’m covering a lunch shift for a sick waiter. The Bistro’s empty. As I’m gazing out the front window, carefully evaluating the spandex covered derriere of a passing jogger babe, the front door chimes. Damn, always when I’m busy. I walk

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Newspaper Interview

This piece about Waiter Rant was in today’s Chicago Tribune. Enjoy! What your waiter is saying about you By Jessica Berthold Tribune Newspapers: The Morning Call Published March 29, 2006 Waiter Rant (waiterrant.net) reads like a sitcom script about life in a busy New York

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More Romantic Drivel

Table 26 finishes their meal and signals for the check. “I’ll pay for dinner,” the man says, taking the checkbook out of my hand. “No, ” his date protests, “Let’s split it.” “I’ve got it.” “Listen,” the woman says, opening her purse, “I’m paying my

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Bride & Groom

The phone rings. “The Bistro,” I answer, “How may I help you?” “Hello, Waiter?” a familiar voice says. “Yes?” “This is Rafael, the Maitre’D at Cafe Really Expensive.” “Hey Rafael,” I reply, “How’s things?” “Slow.” “I hear ya.” “Listen,” Rafael says, “You’ve got a reservation

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Soy People

I’m waiting in line at the health food store as the Hippie Matron in front of me tortures the guy behind the counter. “Can I have a sample of the wheat grass juice with ginger?” she asks “I’m sorry,” the counterman replies, “But I can’t

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Statistics

It’s a beautiful warm Saturday night and the Bistro’s packed. The balmy temps must’ve have thawed the Yuppies out of hibernation. We’ve got an impatient line stretching out the door. I’m making money hand over fist. Of course, something has to go wrong. I’m placing

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Close Quarters Battle

It’s Sunday night. Fluvio went to AC so I’m in charge. The reservation computer tells me we’re gonna be slammed. The Bistro will reach 80% capacity in one hour. That’s the problem with Sunday night. Everyone eats dinner at the same time. I don’t have

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Congratulations Post Secret !

I’d like to congratulate Frank Warren of Post Secret for winning the Best American Weblog Award (for which I was nominated) and a bunch of other categories at the 2006 Bloggies. Job well done Frank. You created a brilliant website. The best blog won. Thanks

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Adventures in Babysitting

It’s a slow lunch. Fluvio’s running around, attending to the million details involved in running a restaurant. Since his wife’s at work, he brought his four year old son Liam with him. “Listen,” Fluvio says, coming up to me, “I’ve got to go out for

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Tiramisu Dreams

The couple on 24 finishes dinner. The busgirl clears the plates. As I crumb the table the man and woman fall silent. It’s obvious they want to talk in private. There’s an energy passing between them. The air hums with tension. Experience tells me to