Bonus Post! – Tips for New Year’s Eve

This one’s for you Lou! 1. Have a designated driver or call a cab. Spending New Year’s Day in jail (or the morgue) is not a good idea. 2. Leave the drugs at home. 3. Leave the kids at home. 4. If you must bring the kids, bring the drugs. Give ‘em to the waitstaff!...

Parking Spot

It’s my day off and I need a new pair of black shoes. My old waiter clogs are getting ratty. New Year’s Eve will soon be upon us. I need to look my best. So I decide to drive over to the mall and buy a couple of pairs with my newfound Christmas loot. Of course the...

HOW TO ORDER WINE WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN ASSHOLE

I’m not a wine guy. I like whisky and beer. But I appreciate the artistry that goes into making wine and I respect people who have a good grasp of Oenology. However, since most people are dopes when it comes to ordering wine, I’ve assembled a list of tips to help you...

Bits of Wisdom

Here are some bits of wisdom I picked up over the years from people, books and film. Wherever possible I’ve made attribution. “Never make a decision when you’re high in the sky or down in the dumps.” – my high school principal. (On relationships) “If it isn’t fun in...

Happy Holidays!

To all Waiter Rant readers – my best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And, oh yeah, for the first time since 1959 the first day of the Festival of Lights is on December 25th! Happy Hanukkah! Have...