Monthly Archives: October 2005

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Coq Au Vin

“Excuse me waiter,” a hot middle aged woman asks me, “But how do you like a woman to suck your cock?” Now there’s a question I don’t get everyday. “I beg your pardon madam?” I say, my voice suddenly getting tight. “Well, me and the

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Congratulations!

“Arlene” gave birth to a baby girl at 6:00 am this morning – 6 pounds seven ounces. Mother and baby are doing well. Congratulations from everyone at the Bistro! Arlene, you’re going to be a great mom.

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The Second Mexican-American War

“hey Max, check this out,” I say looking up from my newspaper. “What is it?” our chief bus boy asks. “You know your compadres who hang out on the street corner looking for work, the day laborers?” “Si.” “Well, it seems the boys over at

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Happy Thanksgiving

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everybody! I’m going out to eat with the family. I can’t seem to escape restaurants can I? It’s been a busy week so sorry for the lack of posts. Once I get over my tryptophan induced coma I’ll write some more

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Dr. Polka

“Did you see that kid on table twelve?” Beth asks me. “No,” I reply. “Take a look.” I peek around the corner and take a quick look at the table. A teenage boy is eating dinner with his parents. His face and neck’s covered with

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Grifters

The phone rings. “The Bistro,” I answer, “How may I help you?” “Hello. I’d like to order something to go,” a woman says. She’s speaking with one of those impossible to place European accents. “What would you like to order Madam?” “Is your online menu

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The Razor’s Edge

It’s Sunday and I’m late for work. Pulling on my tie I race into the Bistro. “You’re late,” Fluvio says, not looking up from the reservation terminal. “Sorry,” I reply. “I’m taking my wife out to dinner so I’m leaving.” “How many we got on

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The Doctor is In

“Man I’m having a rough week,” Celine says. “What’s happening?” I reply. “You know how I get when it rains,” she says sadly. Celine, one of our part time hostesses, has an incredible phobia about driving when it rains. Over the past year the problem

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Preggers

“Jesus Arlene,” I say, “You’re getting bigger by the second.” Arlene is eight and a half month pregnant. Still waiting tables, she looks like she’s about to pop. “I swear I’m bigger than I was yesterday,” she moans. “Any day now,” I say. “My due

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Doobage and All the Right Moves

“So whaddya got for us tonight Poppy?” I ask Ernesto, our sous chef. Ernesto unenthusiastically produces a list of the night’s specials from his back pocket. Telling me the specials is just a formality. After five years I can predict the entire lineup. “And, finally,