Monthly Archives: August 2005

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The God Who Drowns

I’m driving into work listening to 1010 WINS. The news coming out of the Gulf Coast is nothing less than horrific. Pulling into the parking lot I listen to a man describe how his boss listened helplessly as his elderly mother, trapped in the rising

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Tipped Off

n an Op-Ed Piece in today’s NY Times author Steven Shaw argues that restaurants should abolish tipping and adopt a European style “service charge” much like Thomas Keller, the celebrity chef, is doing at his deservedly world famous establishment Per Se. “…Mr. Keller is right

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Did He Say MILF?

The door chimes. Three young twentysomething men walk through the door. “Good afternoon gentleman,” I say greeting them cheerfully, “How many in your party? The guys don’t acknowledge my presence and walk towards the middle of the restaurant. Annoyed, I follow behind them. “How many

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And Dimed………..

It’s a slow lunch shift. I’m busy at the front window comparing the hemlines of various female pedestrians when the phone interrupts my studies. “Good afternoon The Bistro,” I say, filtering the annoyance out of my voice, “how may I help you?” “I want to

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Nickel

“Table 17’s pissed,” Beth informs me. “Why?” I ask warily. “They thought the special salad was too expensive.” Ah, the Caprese Salad – arugula, roasted red peppers, ripe tomatoes, and buffalo mozzarella dressed with out famous parmesan pesto sauce. Delicious and all yours for $11.95

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I Get Bad Service!

I’m staying at my parent’s house in the bucolic Pennsylvania countryside. Exhausted from the previous 110 work week I’m enjoying some recuperative the peace and quiet. Since I was working on Mother and Father’s Day I offer to take my parents out to dinner. “Let’s

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Take Him Outback and ……….

“Hi welcome to Outback,” the hostess perkily chirps, “Two for dinner?” “Yeah,” Fluvio replies looking grim. “Follow me.” “By the way is Toupee working the floor tonight?” I ask. “Yes he is,” the hostess replies looking over her shoulder. “Could you send him over to

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Frisked

Table 26 has outstayed their welcome. I look at my watch. The couple’s drunk. Its way past closing time. I dropped the check an hour ago. They haven’t so much as looked at it. Time to start nudging them out. “Can I take that for