Monthly Archives: July 2005

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Where’s Prozac When You Need It?

The phone rings. “The Bistro,” I answer, “How can I help you?” “What kind of cuisine do you serve?” a female voice asks. “Northern Italian madam.” “And what’s your sushi special tonight?” I pause a moment. “We don’t serve sushi madam.” “Why not?” “Because we’re

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Baby Bucks

I’m tired. Fluvio went on vacation and I’m stuck minding the store. I’ve got seven more double shifts till he comes back. I’m worried. It’s only Sunday and I’m already punchy. There are bags under my eyes and my cheeks ache from maintaining the customer

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To the Rescue!

I’ve received a couple of aggrieved emails lamenting that I haven’t written many posts this week. I’m grateful to have readers that eagerly await each post. The readers, as you can see by the comments, are one of the major reasons why Waiter Rant’s traffic

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Lawyer Blog

“It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour.” – Thomas Jefferson Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been reading Opinionistas, a blog written by a young female lawyer in NYC. In addition to her describing

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My Name is Clark Kent

Now that I’m thirty-seven I need glasses in order to read. Not prescription eyewear, just a good set of readers you can pick up at any pharmacy. Years of reading books, peering into computer monitors, and working in low lighting have taken their toll. At

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Because I’m Pretty?

A while back we had a waitress I’ll call Sue. Initially she seemed like a good worker, but, after a few weeks, her true work ethic became glaringly apparent. Unwilling to work her way up the totem pole, she felt she was entitled to the

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Check Please

Ah, the check – my favorite part of your meal. I know this is the part of the dining experience most people could do without. But it’s when I get paid! A lot of people are idiots when it comes to the simple act of

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London 7/07/05

“The way was long and weary, But gallantly they strode, A country lad and lassie, Along the heavy road. The night was dark and stormy, But blithe of heart were they, For shining in the distance The lights of London lay. O gleaming lights of

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Special People

It’s Sunday afternoon and the Bistro’s packed with retarded people. No, I’m not dissing Yuppies again. The customers are all part of a tour group. With the exception of a few staff members, the entire crowd consists of “differently abled” or “special” people. Since Sunday’s

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My Sister’s Keeper

I’m sitting in a bar after work with Beth and Arlene. It was a long night and we’re rewarding ourselves with some post shift libations. Beth’s drinking a beer. I’m finishing up a dirty martini. Arlene, who is almost seven months pregnant, is sipping her