Monthly Archives: June 2005

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Smacking Saroya

It’s a busy night. As I dash into the kitchen Saroya walks out with a plate of tiramisu in each hand. I’m not watching where I’m going. My shoulder catches her in the left eye. “Owwww!” Saroya yelps almost dropping her desserts. “I’m so sorry!”

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Gringo Cracker

We need a new dishwasher. Fluvio places an ad in the paper. We’re soon inundated with applicants. Throughout the morning an onslaught of applicants trudge through the front door. They’re all Hispanic men. Hailing from places like Ecuador, El Salvador, and Mexico – eager to

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Nunc Dimittis

Three priests walk into my bistro. No, this isn’t a setup for some awful joke – three padres sit in my section. They’re dressed in civilian clothes but I make them instantly. Former Catholic seminarians can spot priests a mile away. Perhaps it’s the clothes;

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Gay Friendly

A young woman walks into the Bistro. “Is your restaurant gay friendly?” she asks. “Yes Madam,” I reply. I’ve gotten this question before. “I want to take my partner out for her birthday. We only patronize gay friendly establishments,” she says. Wow. Militant. “You come

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Let me clear something up

In my post “Gristle” I alluded to the fact I was working on a book. That’s true. However, it is still in the embryonic stage and I have not committed to anyone or anything. Judging from the comments and emails I’ve received I think some

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What’s a Yuppie?

I’ve gotten a couple of emails and comments from people who are upset by my use of the term “Yuppie.” So I’ve decided to explain what I mean when I employ that word. If you’re easily offended or have a shaky self image I suggest

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“Your Powers Are Weak Old Man”

I’m reciting the specials to a two top by the window. In typical yuppie fashion they don’t make eye contact. Sick of talking to these social misfits my eyes begin to wander. A pretty girl walks past the restaurant with her dog. I take an

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I’m a Waiter – Not a Psychic Dietician

“You’ve got an outside table!” the hostess yells at me over the din. I’m swamped. It’s Saturday night and my section’s hopping. “Can someone else take it?” I beg “It’s your turn,” the hostess barks while juggling two phones. I sigh and head outside. Al

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Hit and Run – Follow Up

A few months ago I wrote a post entitled “Hit and Run.” It was about Jairo Gonzalez-Romero, a young immigrant restaurant worker in NJ who was killed by a hit and run driver. After two months, a person has been arrested and charged in this

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Gone to the Dogs

I was sitting down writing a new post for my blog this morning when my ex girlfriend called. Our dog, with whom we share custody, (I know, I know – snicker all you want) was shaking, lethargic, and throwing up. So I shut down my